August 27th, 2008
Your Turn: Gracefully
Some folk say that we should grow old gracefully. My mother would say we should grow old disgracefully but it seems to me we live in a world where being young is overvalued. It may be true that young people are more attractive, have more energy and can burn the candle at both ends but there are advantages to being older too. Don’t get me wrong I think youth is great, I just think every age has its bonuses and we need to embrace our increasing years and not regret the wrinkles.
A little while ago our editor Deb, wrote an Inspiring Women blog on Anna Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorissa told us about the following quote from this insightful lady: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” As a young woman I felt inferior to everyone, but as I grow older I find that not only can I value that everyone is different I can also see that nobody is better or worse than anyone else. We all have good and bad points and that includes me. When someone plays the, “I am richer/ better/ more intelligent, than you card,” it no longer means to me that they are a more valuable person. Most of the things that I treasure you can’t actually buy, like a chat with family, a meal with friends or a walk on the beach.
The same goes for when someone criticizes you. I used to take every criticism and be wounded by it but nowadays I analyze it. Obviously sometimes someone is telling you something you can learn from, but if someone cares enough to try to help you they probably care a great deal and that’s rather special. If the criticism is something that you don’t agree with you can ignore it. It’s not important, so you don’t need to waste time thinking about it. If someone criticizes for a nasty reason (like jealousy) that’s their problem and you can certainly ignore that. So age helps me be more reflective about the meanings behind how people behave.
This means that you only lose sleep about things that you should lose sleep about and not all the other rubbish that may be thrown your way. In my forties I learned not to take on board negative comments unless they were helpful or by someone I really loved and in my fifties(the new forties) I’ve learned to say no to people who dump work on me unreasonably. OK I would like to be three stone lighter, not have to wear glasses or have to cover up the black rings under my eyes but I rejoice in the fact that I can recognize good, kind people and I appreciate the amazing talent and diversity in the world, which I’m sure I didn’t think about twenty years ago.
Your Turn:
So what have you learned as you’ve become older that you can share? (I know most of you aren’t as old as me!) But what makes your life easier; more enjoyable or more valuable? I’d love to know.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:14 am
I can say that one of the things I have learned is to not take life so seriously. It isn’t that things in life aren’t important, however, I have discovered that when I spent my time worrying about everything that was “so important”, I missed out on opportunities of joy. Having a sense of humor and remembering that each day is an opportunity to start fresh is something I could have never embraced when I was in my twenties.
September 1st, 2008 at 8:12 pm
As I’ve moved into my fifties, I’ve come to appreciate living more simply - buying less stuff, going fewer places, enjoying life in quieter, more reflective ways. Not only does it save time, and wear and tear on my psyche, I’m saving money as well, which is certainly valuable in this economy.