December 7th, 2007
Bitter-sweet memories of my child
Early every Saturday morning, when my daughter was little, she would come into my bedroom and climb under my blankets with me. We would snooze, chat, kiss and cuddle until I thought it was time to get-up and start the day and then I would tickle her until she begged me to stop. It was our ritual. Our special bonding time. As she got older it happened less and less frequently, until it stopped altogether. Now, at 14, she isn’t interested in cuddling her mum or being tickled or kissed. Looking back at those times I wish I had known that final time, that it would be the last time. I would have paid more attention to every detail, let it last a little longer, enjoyed it for the moment that it was.
Now as she moves into adulthood, I know that this transition is what I have been working toward since the day she was born. It has been my job to help her develop into a fully realised person. To nurture her curious nature and guide her to happiness as a person, independent of me. And I am proud of the person she is becoming, intelligent, witty, caring, a person with a strong social conscience. Of that time, all I have is the memory of that playful child curled up in my arms and her sweet, innocent, gleeful giggle. A memory that is bitter-sweet, remembering those simple, sweet joys warms my heart but knowing that it is lost to me now, is as painful as the memory is sweet. I will always mourn the loss.
These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
Posted by A.L. in Parenting |
This entry was posted
on Friday, December 7th, 2007 at 11:58 am and is filed under Parenting.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Well written, very touching. I still have dreams of my daughter at that age. I hope this will be your biggest loss of your child. At age 40 my daughter seemed to forget everything. Her current husband doesn’t like me, so I haven’t heard from her for the past five years. I still think about my baby, the wonderful woman she became, my best friend as she became an adult. She is everything I hoped she would become, including a good and loyal wife. But, god, how I miss her. It gets easier, but it will never be easy.
April 26th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
beautiful
but is it really lost to you ?
it is very “alive” through your text
it is still a part of you and of her
April 26th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
PS: very easy for me to state the above as my princess is 6 and asked me for “alone time today”
shame on me !
May 5th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I heard it said once that parenting is all about putting yourself out of a job.
My daughter, too, is 14.
She lives on the other side of the country with her father.
I know of what you speak…and you say it so well. Thank you for sharing your heart.