Amy, tell our readers how you got your start; what led you to a career in PR?
I went to college for advertising and film and for some reason ended up in PR by complete accident.
I had an internship at a film company called Orion pictures, that no longer exists, and started working in their publicity department as an intern for no money, and the most interesting thing that happened was that Rogers and Cowan in New York was looking for an assistant to work in their corporate entertainment division and do tour press and work on some corporate accounts and someone in the PR department referred me to Fran Curtis.

Fran Curtis - who still runs the New York office - was flying - she was on her way to LA for a business trip, and so she asked me to meet her at a nail salon near her office, on 42nd street, on the east side, and she interviewed me while she was getting a manicure. And then she said, “I think you’re hired. I will call you when I get back, and we’ll talk.”

An interview in a nail salon? Really?

Yes. It’s the funniest story…

She went away, and then I went back, and I met with her and she talked to me about PR and how much she liked it and why she liked it, and the diversity of it, and being on an agency versus the film side and that conducive to my personality I’d probably be really great in the agency side because I like to do a lot of different things, and I have a lot of interests.

“I’ve been on movie sets, not from a PR perspective but from a producer’s assistant perspective and I learned how to put out spec scripts and read scripts and write coverage and make recommendations on casting,”

So she hired me for - I don’t remember - I made like no money - no one did back then, and that was August 1990 or September 1990.

And then I started working, and my first stuff that I ever did was tour press for New Kids on the Block and Nintendo. So I did that for a while, and then I went out to LA for a business trip, and fell in love with LA and E! Entertainment was just starting at that time, and I had met some people there who were just starting out, and I made friends, and I ended up leaving the job at Rogers and Cowan to move out to LA and then they didn’t have a job for me in the LA office, so I started from scratch.

My first boss when I moved out to LA was a guy named Jeff Robinov, who became the head of Warner Brothers, and we still talk, and we’re friendly, and he was my first boss in LA, and I wasn’t even in PR. He was an agent with a company called Writers and Artists, and I answered his phone, and I read scripts for him and his other agent, and that was sort of how I started my career.

I sort of learned how to make movies and how to do a TV show - which is kind of cool looking back at it now because I have very unique experience - and a lot of people in publicity either came from acting or came from straight PR, but I came from PR and production. I’ve been on movie sets, not from a PR perspective but from a producer’s assistant perspective and I learned how to put out spec scripts and read scripts and write coverage and make recommendations on casting, and it was very, very interesting.

A year or so later, I kind of missed PR and I missed pitching, and I missed working with actors, and I didn’t want to make $200 / week working as an agent’s assistant, and I realized that I didn’t want to make deals. It was exciting, but not something I was interested in. My friends were all doing it, and no one was going into publicity, and I thought it was really interesting, so I was like Oh! I’ll be a different person.

So I got lucky and I got a job at PNK in 1993, working for Catherine Olen, who’s been a very well known and respected publicist in LA for years, and she’s still there, and she kind of taught me everything I know. I definitely credit her for giving me the ability to be as good as I am.

You’ve mentioned a couple of women - Fran Curtis, and Catherine Olen - who were sort of mentors to you…?
Yeah, there are very few men who have helped me along. It is mostly women…but they haven’t helped me in the traditional sense. I wouldn’t say they went out of their way to get me jobs. They were strong women, they were independent women. They were not encumbered at the time with families and relationships - I don’t know if that was necessarily a good thing, but …they have all that now, because they’re older…but…there was something really sexy about women in business who could do anything, were ambitious, were willing to do anything to get ahead and were smart and had relationships and were poised.

There’s another woman Annette Wolf who I worked for later on in my career. I really admire the oldtimers (and I don’t mean that regarding age) because they really had a sense about doing business, that I think a lot of young publicists today don’t carry with them.

Theres’s a bit of poise and grace that being established and having walked the red carpet at the Oscars gives you that young people just don’t have.

You’ve mentioned that young people coming into the industry lack the poise and grace that comes with experience, but what else is different about the industry now?
Back then, when I started, there were no computers, and there was no way to do anything except for picking up the phone, trying to get reporters on the phone, and faxing them press releases and FedExing them press kits and all that other stuff.

It’s really amazing now, just looking at how easy PR has come in terms of communicating with reporters, because the new generation has no idea what it was like to call and research reporters, and - you know - get hung up on, because most people do things by email; they just don’t get their email returned [laughter] I think it’s a lot more civil than getting hung up on.

“I think that part of the reason I started my company - as difficult as it is to run a company - is that I never wanted to get so big that I couldn’t talk to the clients.” <

Yes, you just assume your email got lost in the ether, and that it isn’t personal. We’ve talked about differences in the industry, but what makes a smaller company like yours different from the bigger ones?
You can tell the difference in a campaign, right away, if it’s someone who’s been in the business for ten years, or if it’s someone who’s been doing it for 30. I think a lot of the problems with big companies is that you never get to talk to the boss. You’re always doing everything through the assistant, and you lose so many great opportunities because not the right questions are asked. Or not enough questions are asked.

I think that part of the reason I started my company - as difficult as it is to run a company - is that I never wanted to get so big that I couldn’t talk to the clients. I mean, granted, I do have other people who work with me on the clients, but nothing goes out without me seeing it. And I have a client list that is small enough that I can still support myself, and take care of three other employees, and be able to keep it manageable.

I think that, with everything that happened last December [2009] with all the break-ups of the big companies, and everyone going AWOL, is that people are starting to return to the boutique way of doing business, and I was always doing that, even when everyone else was trying to become huge.

For the longest time, I was the only one who had that - who could bring the experience of ten or more years at PNK or a company like that, to a smaller shop. Now everyone’s doing it. [laughs] Maybe I need to find a new rap?

You may not be huge, but you’re gaining longevity. What’s this I hear about an anniversary?

Our seven-year anniversary is in April. They say a small business is successful if it lasts ten years, and we’re almost at seven, so I hope that’s good. I hope we make it.

Part two of our interview with Amy Brownstein, where we talk about her use of social media, among other things, will be live in April, so be sure to check back. For more information about Amy while you wait, visit her website: A. Brownstein.com.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, three dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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My senior year, I signed a record deal right as I graduated high school, and after that I was on this record label for about two years - three years - and I recorded two albums for them but none of them came out and at the end of that process they told me they were going to drop me from the label, and at that time we kind of just did our own thing, and made a record on our own, and that’s when Vanguard picked us up, and we just finished our first record with them, which came out this past summer - so that’s kind of the gist in a very quick form.

Your first Vanguard album is the self-titled one? “Trevor Hall?”
Yes.

I’ve been listening to it as part of the prep for this interview, and I’ve really been enjoying it. I’ve noticed that there are a lot of different musical styles that inform your work. Can you tell me a little bit about that?
Wow, thank you.

Well, the big influence is reggae music, just because ever since I was a kid that’s the music that’s stuck with me the most. So that’s kind of the foundation of it all, but I’m influenced by a lot of world music and hip-hop and rock - kind of a fusion of all those, but the reggae is, for me, the foundation for it all.

Various reviews of your music have compared you to people like Peter Gabriel, Bob Marley, and even Jack Johnson. Do you count any of those people among your influences, or do you feel you’re truly your own person, musically?
I’d like to think I’m my own person, but one influence that I grew up with, and sometimes people also compare me to is Ben Harper. When I first heard him, I remember telling people, “I want to make music like this.” So he was a really big influence, and it really kind of molded me early on. In the early stages of my songwriting, he was a main influence for sure.
I’d like to talk about two of the songs on the “Trevor Hall” album. The first one is the very first cut - “Internal Heights.” Do I hear sitar music in that? And the second is “Unity.” Tell me a bit about each of them?
“Internal Heights” is a song that is kind of like the theme of my life. I try to live a righteous life, a spiritual life. I’m really influenced by Indian music and Indian culture, and at some point in the album I wanted to bring that kind of sound in, and it just worked out that we did it in that song. It seemed like a good song to start the album with because it’s just… it’s a good theme - stepping into the light. It’s one of my favorite songs on this record.

As far as “Unity” goes, it was a song written with Matisyahu, a friend of mine. We were on tour together, and it was the time of the terrorist shootings in Mumbai, India, and he had some friends, or people that he knew there who had passed away, and we were on the road together at that time, and it affected us greatly, so while we were on tour we were always talking, reasoning about all this fighting in the name of God and how upset that that made us. So that song was born out of that tour, and those experiences.

You’ve mentioned spirituality, and your lyrics certainly have a sense of spirituality that comes out of them; is that something important to you? Do you consider yourself more spiritual or actually religious?
I think kind of both. I mean the music is obviously heavily spiritual. The music is a way for me to explore that realm, that world. I mean…people do it in different ways. People do it through religion, or reading, people do it through, I don’t know, quotation - but I do it through music. So I guess music is my religion in a way. It’s my practice. It’s how I talk to that side of myself.

You’ve been chosen by MTV as one of 20 emerging artists for 2010. What does that mean to you personally and professionally?
Well I didn’t really… I was out of the country when that happened - I just got back Sunday. I was in India for a month, and my sister actually sent me an email while I was over there that said, “Oh, you were on MTV.”

And I was like, “What?” But I didn’t really get to watch it, or see anything happen until I got back. I haven’t really been able to see the results of it, but I feel very honored to be one of the artists that need to be known, I guess, you could say?

Hopefully it will help the career and help people learn about the music.
You start a new tour on January 27. Am I correct that this is the first tour that’s really just YOU?
It’s actually the second, but I feel like it’s the first really big one, and the first we’re really focusing on doing what I want to do.

“It’s like you’re going through a market place but not as a buyer. You’re just kind of observing life, and seeing all these different people and how they live and how they communicate their ideas,”

Do you like touring, or do you consider it just something you have to do - and how do you keep yourself grounded when you’re on the road for a long time?
Oh, staying grounded is…something I’m still learning to practice, myself, really. But touring…it’s such a good teacher, and it is hard, there are negative points, but there are also a lot of positive points for me. A couple of those are - you’re in a different city every night, and you’re always moving, moving, moving, and you can’t have any attachment to a certain place or certain people. You just have to keep moving - go with the flow.

And I think that’s a good teacher for me, to not get attached to anything. It’s like you’re going through a market place but not as a buyer. You’re just kind of observing life, and seeing all these different people and how they live and how they communicate their ideas, and - it’s just a wonderful teacher.

The other high point of it is, now whatever city I go into, I know people. It’s like I have friends in almost every city, and that wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for music. That’s been a really nice thing to see over the years - how friendships have grown.

But traveling so much - it does wear on your health, and it can get really tiring, and you do lose your ground sometimes, but it’s important to talk to loved ones, or keep up with your meditation, or whatever you do and just try to stay healthy and remember your goal. You just try to remember that you’re doing this for people. That you’re serving people.

Speaking of serving people…y You’ve used your music to support some important charities, like the Rainforest Action Network and The Hunger Site. Talk to me about your involvement with those organizations. Is social action important to you?
I really inspired by one saint who always said that the way to God is by feeding people and serving people, because God exists in everything you are, and so if you’re feeding one person, than you’re feeding God.

I feel very blessed to be able to use my music to not only entertain people, but also to raise money for this cause or that cause…

The Rainforest Action Network is something that happened through my manager. My manager’s friend was on their board, and we ended up doing a concert for them, and I was really taken by all the good work that they’ve been doing for the environment, so I said, “Hey, let’s try to do something with these folks.” It’s been a real pleasure working with them, and supporting each other.

The big thing, though, that I love and am inspired by is children. I love kids, and I love serving kids that are in need. And by going to India - I stayed in one temple over there, and it was kind of like an orphanage, and I became really attached to these kids and seeing how pure their hearts are, and I just wanted to help in any way I could, so I’ve started a little thing - a very small thing - where I’ve been trying to raise money at shows for their clothing and food, and stuff, and this past trip I was able to go back and see what the donations have done, and it’s just been such a wonderful thing to see over the years.

It’s just…it’s just such a blessing to be able to serve.

How wonderful that you’re doing something so personal and meaningful. Speaking of doing things, though…you’ve got this tour about to start, an album that just came out…what’s next for you? More trips to India…or…?
I hope I to go back [to India]. I hope to go back next year around this time, just to sort of check up on the kids. It’s also a good place for me to refresh myself.

” I feel like it’s a spiritual hunger, and that too many youth don’t have anyone - or not a lot of people - to look to get this food from. There’re just not a lot of people cookin’ - you know?”

After this tour, though, we don’t really have any set plans, but I’m looking forward to getting back into the studio and making another album with lots of new songs, and just…keep on pumping, keep on getting the people to sing.

We’ve talked about music and good works and your plans for the future. Is there anything else that you’re really passionate about that you want to share with us?
One thing is…I really feel like there’s a sort of hunger in today’s youth, and it’s not like a physical hunger for actual food. I feel like it’s a spiritual hunger, and that too many youth don’t have anyone - or not a lot of people - to look to get this food from. There’re just not a lot of people cookin’ - you know?

I feel like it’s really unfortunate, and I hope that in the future, maybe through God’s grace, that there’ll be some cooks, and that it will be easier for kids to find that spiritual side of themselves, and get out of this physical, material life that is kind of engulfing us - especially America.

I feel like there’s another whole world out there that is incredibly beautiful, but right now, I don’t feel like there are many ways for youth to tap into it. My one prayer is that this will change, and I believe music is one of the ways to transmit powerful messages, and to make people feel something.

So, I hope that it will come from music - not necessarily me - but anybody - as long as it helps youth with their spiritual connection.
Trevor Hall can be found on the web at his myspace page. When I asked if he had any kind of donation system set up for the orphanage in India, he said he preferred to keep it personal and intimate, collecting donations only at his shows. His current album, “Trevor Hall” was released by Vanguard in August - look for a review of it later tis month in our blog.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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Are your fans generally respectful of your need to have some separation, despite your tendency toward online candor?

They’re the best.

” I’m trapped in the same mirror that everyone else is. I think, at the end of the day, it’s all about random choice.”

I think I get really special consideration and respect from my fans because I treat them so well and love them so much. it works out nice that way.

Let’s turn toward some of the less savory aspects of the media. Your song, “Oasis” sparked quite a bit of controversy, mostly, it seems, due to its upbeat nature while addressing some serious experiences. Were you expecting that sort of backlash?

No, not at all. Honestly. I thought the song was funny and cute and thought people would like it.

I think I’m a bit naive sometimes. I forget what the world is like because I spend so much time hanging out with art weirdos.

Do you think body image, especially among girls and young women, is an important issue? If you had a magic wand you could wave, what would you change about the way women are portrayed in media, or would you?

Oh God, yes. I think it’s terrifying nowadays to see what passes for “standard” beauty, because it seems to be getting worse.

I just read a great book by Ariel Levy (who also went to my alma mater, Wesleyan University) called Female Chauvinist Pigs.” It’s a great read and is about the reverse-empowerment that has been going on lately in regards to girls feeling stronger when they slut-out.

I’m trapped in the same mirror that everyone else is. I think, at the end of the day, it’s all about random choice. Are you LOCKED into a habit? Can you NOT leave the house without make-up? MUST you shave?

There are NO answers. There is no right way. But if you’re trapped, you’re fucked. I encourage everybody to experiment.

The ReBellyon [a movement started by Amanda Palmer fans outraged by RoadRunner Record’s accusation that her belly was too large to appear in a music video] became quite a movement unto itself. What are your thoughts about the fan reactions and the start of The ReBellyon?

A study in empowerment and a wonderful use of the internet, I think.

People can do big things, together, and FAST.

And then there was the “ReBellython.” For our readers who may not be familiar with that, could you tell us a bit about it?

It was a name that someone came up for the collection of belly photos that started flooding into the band forum after RoadRunner Records (my label) suggested I looked fat in one of my videos and asked me to cut a few shots.

I blogged about it and the photos came pouring in. I was very proud of the fans. I hadn’t instigated this, it was feminist anarchy! The best bellies were the big tubby hairy man bellies. And some pets.

In addition to being a kick-ass musician, and all around creative person, you have a spiritual side. When did you begin to explore Buddhism, and what led you to it?

My best friend and neighbor, Anthony, who was like a dad to me growing up, turned me onto yoga and meditation when I was a teenager. I’ve been practicing ever since, and it’s a very important part of my life - I don’t think I could be very happy without it.

I recently read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and it’s a great starting place for people interested in mindfulness who are turned off by religion. I don’t consider myself a Buddhist - I consider myself a seeker, a yoga-doer, a stretcher, a sitter, a lost human being, like all of us, in search of a more present and mindful existence. Religion’s got nothing to do with it.

Do you meditate, or use other private rituals to help keep you grounded and centered? Can you share a bit about that?

I try to sit for at least twenty minutes every morning (and often fail) and I go to a yoga studio at least four-five times a week when I’m at home. On the road things get harder.

“I listen to myself. I slow down. I eat with friends. I read. I don’t force.”

Your creativity and talent are seemingly limitless. What do you do when your creative energy begins to wane? How do you recharge yourself?

I just stop. Allowing myself to vegetate has been a struggle, but I’ve learned how to do it relatively well. I listen to myself. I slow down. I eat with friends. I read. I don’t force.

You’ve become a hero, of sorts, to many young women. Who are your personal heroes?

Well, Anthony, who I mentioned above, is a big one.

One of my favorite writers is a dead monk named Seung Sahn. I often recommend his letter-books to people I know, especially one called Dropping Ashes on the Buddha. It’s hilarious and profound.

I have my poet heroes, my musical and lyrical heroes, like Leonard Cohen, Nick Cave, Robyn Hitchcock, Edward Kaspel, John Lennon. The ladies? Joni Mitchell. Nina Simone. Laurie Anderson. Joan Baez.

What’s next from Amanda Palmer?

My next big focus is putting out the Evelyn Evelyn record this spring. They’re conjoined twin sisters who play piano, accordion, drums, guitar and ukulele.

Jason Webley and I discovered them on MySpace and we made their first record. It’s awe-inspiring. They’re such talented songwriters and such strange souls. I can’t wait to share their music with the world.

If you want to learn more about The Rebellyon, check out the website. To keep up with Amanda, check out her website AmandaPalmer.net, or follow her on Twitter: @AmandaPalmer.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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Amanda, please tell us a bit about yourself: where are you originally from and what made you the woman you are today?

I was born on Manhattan island but mostly grew up in the deep suburbs of Boston, feeling lonely.

Regarding what made what I am…if you have a few weeks, I could try to answer that. I think the shortcut is to just thank Cyndi Lauper, my mother, the Beatles and God. Right?

Were you interested in music from a young age, or is it something you embraced later in life?

I’ve actually lost my connection with music more and more as the years wear on, but now my time gets more taken up by people, and I like people better than music. Earlier, when I was a kid and a teenager, I lived and breathed music 24/7. I went record shopping weekly and devoured. Now, I eat friends.

Your bio says that you spent a lot of time, as a child, “… drawing flyers for events that never existed…” Do you still make time for visual art? Do you think in music, or images, or a combination of the two?

I think about everything as it hits me.

“I have a simple rule. I won’t work with anyone I don’t also want to hang out and eat with and get to know.”

I was in a museum the other day and was looking at an exhibit about President Lincoln’s assassination. The color saturation in the drawings depicting the event obsessed me and I thought about them for days, and started mentally plotting a new aesthetic theme for the year. A few weeks before that I had my brain stuck in planning a fan video for a Tegan and Sara song that hit me while I was jogging one morning.

I try to plan my life with enough flexibility to be able to follow my own random artistic whims. It’s a weird way to operate but in the long run, it works out. It does drive the people that work for me crazy, however. I’m always trying to keep them in the loop, but it’s difficult when the loop is invisible.

Most of us first came to know you as the voice of The Dresden Dolls. Please tell our readers about how that partnership came to be.

I was looking for a drummer; Brian was looking for a band. We met each other at a Halloween party I was throwing and playing piano at, and we jammed a few days later and knew instantly we were meant to play together. The rest is on YouTube.

Do you enjoy collaborating, or do you prefer to work alone? What are some of the challenges of being part of a performing group or team? How about particular difficulties?

Well, I consider almost everything a collaboration. Even when I’m recording my own shit in my bedroom or doing a lonely little webcast, I feel like I’m collaborating with my audience.

As far as making more complicated recording or projects, I have a simple rule. I won’t work with anyone I don’t also want to hang out and eat with and get to know. That helps make my choices easier.

Are there ever going to be more CDs or performances from The Dresden Dolls, or are you strictly a solo act now?

I dunno. I hope we play together again. We’re so good.

Your solo debut, at least in the public eye, was when you released Who Killed Amanda Palmer? last year. Tell us a bit about that project - how was it inspired, etc?

Well, it began as a much smaller idea. I was going to just release some simple solo songs and self-release it, but then Ben got involved and things changed; the label wanted to pick it up. Then they screwed me and didn’t promote or distribute it properly. It was a tough year, on that front.

The book, which started out as a small little addendum to the album artwork, got out of hand when this writer dude Neil Gaiman got involved. Everything always all over the place, man. I just try to blog it all, and pray.

Can you share a bit about the filming of the videos for each song on the CD? Do you have a favorite piece?

Filming the videos was a dream because I love working with Michael Pope.

We just worked within our non-existent budget and had. A. Blast. My favorite changes from day to day. “Point of it All” was my favorite for a while, but I’m starting to think I should’ve left the strings off and done a raw-er version of it. I’m really proud of the way guitar hero came out.

As part of the publicity for Who Killed Amanda Palmer?, you worked with Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab on a line of perfumes. How much of “you” is in those scents? What was the process like?

It was a simple process… Beth sent several scents (to match a photo) that she devised from scratch, and I picked what I liked. It was a fun project since it didn’t have to hit one scent squarely on the head… They were more an experiment of nose-candy.

“One of the lucky things about my relationship with Neil is that we totally understand each other’s limits and how the other one views connection with fans and with others.”

That was also the project that led to your introduction to Neil Gaiman, wasn’t it? Speaking of your relationship with Neil, how do two such public people balance the public and personal parts of their lives? In particular, we’re curious about your twittering, since at times you seem to tweet each other, apparently without caring about the thousands of followers glimpsing those conversations. Do you feel at all like your relationship is in a fishbowl, or are you able to draw a virtual curtain between yourselves and your fans?

I think everybody has to answer this question for themselves, and everybody has a very different take on it.

One of the lucky things about my relationship with Neil is that we totally understand each other’s limits and how the other one views connection with fans and with others. There’s not a whole lot of misunderstanding and when there is it’s quickly fixed. Neil and I are cut from the same cloth. It’s very rare one of us turns to the other and says, “I have no idea why you did that.”

In addition to twitter, you also have an extensive website, and a blog, and you’ve been referred to as “media savvy” more than once. Have you always been in touch with your inner geek, or is this a fairly recent side of you?

I’ve always been a communication-holic.

I threw weird parties and events constantly when I was a teenager (my poor parents, every time they went out of town, something broke). I had weird pen-pals up the ass. I made mix-tapes constantly.

I was never very interested in computers. My mom was a programmer (she knows COBOL!) and my step-father was in the automatic speech recognition world, so there were always machines around. The computer side of things, for me, just facilitates what was already there. I’ve never been interested in how they work, just how they can connect me. Much like musical gear. I couldn’t give a shit how amps work, I just want them to be loud.

You often refer to yourself, at least online, as “Amanda Fucking Palmer.” Where did that come from? Is it a phrase you purposely embraced?

That one was Ben Folds’ fault. He nicknamed me that in the studio and it stuck. Long story, for another day.

Be sure to check back in February for Part 2 of our interview with Amanda. Meanwhile, check out her website AmandaPalmer.net, or follow her on Twitter: @AmandaPalmer.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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Musician, songwriter, and producer Gregory Page was born in London, England to a musical family. As a teenager, he attended Trinity College of Music where he studied classical guitar and composition. At the age of sixteen, Page moved to San Diego, CA where he began writing and recording his own brand of music. Over the years, Page has worked with a variety of artists such as: Jason Mraz, John Doe, Jewel, Tom Brosseau, Steve Poltz, and AJ Croce, to name a few.

Gregory brings a rich, lush depth to his music: both lyrically and instrumentally. He says nothing makes you feel as good as a melancholy song.

Gregory, you have quite a following in San Diego, but for All Things Girl readers who are unfamiliar with your music, how do you describe your unique sound?

I describe it as a unique sound. The music that I create is a time machine—it transports me back to a place where life was in black and white. Back to a time when women were ladies and guys were gentlemen. The tightrope my music teeters upon is the struggle between tradition and progress, history and fantasy. I am the songbird & the worm.

Well, you seem to be if not a Francophile, at least a Europhile—your sound has that 20’s to 40’s French cafe, bluesy-swanky thing going on. Tell me about it and how Paris has influenced your song writing.

I spent half my life searching for my real father. In 1999 the search ended and I was introduced to him in Paris where he lives. Discovering he was also a songwriter is what Oprah would call a full circle moment.

I wrote and recorded a French Inspired collection of songs about that experience called Love Made Me Drunk. While walking with my Father along the banks of the River Seine, it was easy to imagine Paris a hundred years ago—melodies were floating above my head constantly.

And speaking of Europe, you were born in London, right? So why did your family decide to move to San Diego?

My family escaped to America in 1976. I was not eager to move here so I was told that we were only going on a holiday. We never returned to the Queen’s Kingdom and I have remained here on vacation ever since. We eventually landed in San Diego. I asked my Grandfather, “Why did you choose Southern California?” He told me it was because he loved Mexican food. I love it, too, but would I up root an entire family for it?

You crack me up, Gregory. The quest for good Mexican food may be worth crossing the pond.

San Diego is often considered a musical backwater compared to Los Angeles, but you have played with some pretty well-known musicians here. Tell me a bit about your musical friends.

This year most of my musician friends moved away to more culturally artistic cites. My pal AJ Croce moved to Nashville where he and his family have made it their home. Tom Brosseau relocated to Los Angeles and my hairstylist, Aspasia, moved to New York where she is being greatly appreciated.

San Diego has made me independently wealthy, I am completely independent of wealth. It’s a difficult place to create original music in and I have been fortunate to be able to survive as long as I have here. But I live week-to-week, with no health insurance and worse than that—no cable television.

Much of your music and your lyrics seem very personal and reflective. Because of this, I am sure many of your fans think these songs tell your life story. Do they? How autobiographical are your songs?

“Most of my songs are true stories that I make up. Juxtaposing nostalgia with modern scenes of lust and betrayal. I don’t listen to FM radio or read magazines. Rock music for me is dead and gone. Regression is the new progression.”

Most of my songs are true stories that I make up. Juxtaposing nostalgia with modern scenes of lust and betrayal. I don’t listen to FM radio or read magazines. Rock music for me is dead and gone. Regression is the new progression.

You don’t participate in pop or current culture, so what, or who, inspires you?

Mother Theresa, Tiny Tim, clouds, and Indian food.

What about when writing new material—where do you find inspiration?

Melbourne, Australia. Something about St. Kilda really inspires me—there’s something in the air. St. Kilda is my co-writer. Not in a fluffy spiritual, wind chimes and incense sort of way…it’s just that Melbourne feels like home and is a place that lives inside me.

Too bad Australia is halfway around the world. I hear you’ve been to Oz many times—how do you handle the flight?

Xanax. There are two things I am afraid of: turbulence and the music of Kenny G. Flying is great, don’t get me wrong, but I’d rather they perfect it before I take too many flights.

Would you move to Australia?

In some ways I already have [since St. Kilda resides in me]. I’m not sure I’d leave San Diego—it needs creative souls. Each time creative people leave, San Diego is worse off for it. I don’t have a lot of possessions, so I can travel easily—just me, my toothbrush, and my guitar.

I know you have given hundreds of interviews over the years. What one question do you wish interviewers would ask you?

I would like an interviewer to ask me how to get certain self-proclaimed musicians to stop trying to be successful. To make something of it, to want to be more than they are, to become famous [as a self-serving ambition]. That’s what I’d like to be asked because I’d like to answer that question.

To battle with so many people playing in clubs and venues, who are satisfied with just making adequate music, is difficult. I call these people try-hards and the try-hards are in the way—they are good self-promoters, but they make it hard for those who are serious about song writing and playing—so much market saturation makes it’s hard for artists to be heard—for musicians that have been playing for years but that are running out of venues to do so.

What do you want to people to know about you that they don’t know? What would surprise people?

I am not as interesting in person as I am in my writing. I write short stories and I appear quite clever and interesting. I am not a reader or a great conversationalist—but in songs I come off deeper and more intelligent than I really am.

Tell me about your upcoming release, I know you just finished in the recording studio.

For my new CD, Heartstrings, I wrote a collection of songs in Australia this past spring that are in the spirit of roots jazz/old time music. I became friends with a pianist-composer named Sky Ladd. He arranged the album and included two of his original solo piano compositions. In the spirit of that music we enlisted the talents of an upright bass player named Bob Magnusson—he played with Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah Vaughan. Gilbert Castellanos, my friend and a local trumpeter who plays with Diana Krall, is on the album, too.

It was recorded and co-produced by my friend Jeff Berkley at his home studio here In San Diego—Jeff is a purist—everything was recorded on period recording equipment. My talented long time friend Masen shot the amazing album cover in Downtown San Diego.

It was written over the period of a month while I was listening to Louis Prima, Nat King Cole, Bessie Smith, and others. The music had been churning around in me for a while—this is my first cohesive collaborative effort. This album for me is a perfect fit—it’s my best work to date—it showcases my voice in a way that hasn’t been done before—with the piano front and center, it brings out the best in my voice.

Elements of comedy and elements of anguish link from song to song. And since it was written during a short period it’s really a concept album—all the songs are a part of the whole. I hadn’t played these songs live, I just created them and recorded them so I wasn’t swayed by opinions about what should be on there or not—only by what I felt I wanted to record. I close the album with Edith Piaf’s classic La Vie en Rose.

I have self-released and distributed 18 records, and this one is no different. It will be independently self-released on Valentine’s Day—available from the trunk of my car or via my website (www.gregorypage.com). I would love to have distribution one day, but until then it’s all through me.

So what’s next for you, Gregory? A tour to support Heartstrings? Return to Australia? Late-night Mexican food run?

I return to Oz in March to perform at festivals and to promote the new album. In addition, I have come up with a brilliant new marketing strategy—door-to-door album sales. I have been trying it out here in San Diego and it’s going dismally, but I believe in taking my music to the people. One thing I have learned through this process is that people don’t like to be disturbed at their homes.

Well. Gregory, I am looking forward to Heartstrings, but don’t drop in on me unless you call first!

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Theatre was always a major draw for me, as was music, but while I enjoy participating in both, I think I always knew that acting, singing and playing my cello were destined to become beloved hobbies rather than paths to fame and fortune.

When I was eight, nine, and ten, I was obsessed with horses. My mother even gave me riding lessons at this farm in rural New Jersey where NBC used to send their horses after they’d “retired” from show business. I got to muck out stalls, learn basic riding skills, and bond with other equine-centric kids. While I was there, my favorite horses were a tiny pony named Taffy, a gorgeous lean creature named Blitzen, also a pony, though barely so, and the horse that played “Bunny” in several episodes of the Little House on the Prairie television series. Shortly after that, I spent a weekend on a ranch outside of Denver, where I rode a horse that was so big, I was walking bow-legged for a week, and that killed my dreams of ever being a jockey, which is too bad, because it’s one sport where being short is an advantage.

The next year, I decided marine biology would be my field. My friend Jill and I had a great spring and summer splashing through the creek that ran through the park across the street from our Arvada, CO, condo complex, or just hanging out on the sandy bank, under a canopy of trees. Thinking back on that time now, I think it was one of the last truly innocent summers of the twentieth century. It was definitely near the end of unwired wildness. As long as we were home by dinner time, no one expected us to call in every hour, and our hours went largely untracked and unsupervised.

Cut to this December, when I find myself waxing nostalgic for my youth, partly because my 40th birthday is getting awfully close (August 17, 2010 - make a note. I like chocolate, flowers, bubble bath and books), and partly because my most lucrative writing gig has gone away. When you’re a kid, or even a twenty-something young adult, being essentially rudderless is kind of cool. When you’re an adult, with responsibilities and mortgage payments and such…not so much. It makes you want to cover all the mirrors so your own image won’t mock you from within, and makes curling up in bed and crying for your mother that much more tempting.

Robert Frost wrote about taking the road less traveled, and Lewis Carroll wrote, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” I wish I could launch this bright, new, year by announcing that I’ve got some internal road map, some master plan to guarantee that I’ll be successful by the time I actually do hit forty, but the scary truth is that I don’t. I never did.

As a little girl, one of my favorite things to do whenever we moved to a new neighborhood was to climb on my bike, get myself as lost as possible, and then figure out how to get back home. Sometimes it took minutes, and sometimes it took hours, but my inner compass always got me where I needed to be. This morning, I looked at my reflection in the mirror, and my little-girl self gazed back at me. “It was never about getting lost,” she seemed to say. “It was always about the ride.” Suddenly, I understood exactly what is meant when people say, “It’s about the journey.” Destinations are great, but if you miss all the scenery along the way, what does it matter how fast you got there?

So, I’m thirty-nine. I have a great husband, a house I love, three adorable dogs, amazing friends, a supportive family, and a novel that isn’t quite ready to be published (soon, though, soon). But you know what? I must have a prescient moment when I was five.

Because even if I don’t know for sure what I’m doing with my life…I am a writer.

And road maps are overrated, anyway.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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“For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin, real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” -Alfred D. Souza

I’d love to say that it was simply maturity and the passing of time or even some dramatic life event that taught me to just enjoy the ride. But, honestly it was a bumper sticker on the back of someone’s Volkswagen that made me rethink my viewpoint. “Happiness is a journey…not a destination.”

While I have a general rule against forming a life philosophy around a bumper sticker, this one simply fit. It made me think about my approach to life. I’d lived most of my life in expectation or regret of one thing or another.

When I was sixteen I couldn’t wait until I turned eighteen. When I was eighteen I couldn’t wait until I was 21. I looked forward to 25, but reluctantly turned 30.

I never really enjoyed the time I spent at an ideal weight because I was too focused on trying to get down to the next size. There are the years of missing family photos because I was waiting until I lost “ten more pounds” or my hair was just right.

During all those years of anticipating the things I didn’t have I missed out on opportunities to enjoy what I did have. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely enjoyed myself over the past 39 years. There are tons of memories that make me smile or laugh until I cry. Yet, looking back on life with my newfound, bumper-sticker life philosophy I can clearly see those missed opportunities for unabashed joy and satisfaction.

I’d love to say that reading that bumper sticker instantly changed my life. However, bad habits (and bad philosophies) are had to break. It took time for me to gradually change my perception of life. To understand that it is important to have goals and dreams. Yet, the journey to achieving them can be immensely enjoyable whether we achieve those goals or not.

So set lofty goals for yourself. Don’t be afraid to chase dreams that others see as impossible, unattainable. But don’t forget to enjoy everything that happens along the way.

Celebrate every small accomplishment. Learn the lessons offered by each failure. Show off the bumps and bruises you pick up along the way like badges of honor and courage. Don’t let the idiosyncrasies of the people you love prevent you from cherishing the things about them that are truly beautiful. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Move forward with wisdom and discernment.

Find joy everyday. A great book. Doing five more minutes on the elliptical trainer than you did the week before. An unexpected gesture of affection from your husband. A juicy kiss from your infant daughter. A nuzzle from your perceptive beagle after a hard day at work. The funny story your best friend tells you that brings you back from the edge of sanity. An unusually warm day in winter. The perfect parking spot when you’ve only got five minutes to get to your doctor’s appointment.

Joy can be just as wonderful in bite-size increments as it is when our cup is overflowing with it. So don’t forget to enjoy the journey.

Roxanne Samara Ravenel is a freelance writer and Chief Travel & Event Organizer for Girlfriends EnTourAge Travel Club. Roxanne loves a great story, travel, art & culture and life on “the other side of 35.” She is unapologetically addicted to ESPN.

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Business

Around Me

Around Me is an easy-to-use yet powerful app that uses your GPS-identified location to do a quick search of businesses and other resources around you. You can search either by category or type in your own key words. Once you’ve found what you’re looking for, it can show you where it is located on a map, give you directions for how to get there either on the iPhone or by e-mailing the information to you, and so far has never led me astray. Price = Free.

LinkedIn

Helps you quickly access your LinkedIn information like network updates, your inbox (accept invites to connect, aka become friends on LinkedIn), and information about your contacts on LinkedIn. It’s a great way to see what your network is up to without having to log in to the site. If you’re a professional and you’re not yet on LinkedIn, I highly recommend that you join. It’s a great way to connect with current and former colleagues. Price = Free.

Google Mobile App

Ah, the power of The Google. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a work-related conversation and I’ve had to leverage the power of the Google. And the nifty thing about it is that the voice recognition works rather well. When it doesn’t, at least you have something to laugh about. Price = Free.

TripIt

I’ve written a blog entry about the wonders of TripIt, so I’ll keep this brief. TripIt, if used consistently, can save you from missing flights and can help you make tight connections. It’s a site dedicated to helping you organize and track your travel plans. TripIt’s iPhone app is easy to use and has even more functionality if you have TripItPro. Price for the iPhone app = Free.

Yelp

I check Yelp before I make reservations for business dinners because the reviews are consistently helpful and the ratings and guidelines are spot on. Who wants to bring their boss to a place that has horrible food or service? Not me! Sometimes you have to decide these things while in the back of a taxi or on a plane before take-off. That’s when Yelp gives you the real skinny on what places are good and which you should pass on. Price = Free.

Leisure

Boxcar

Boxcar is an application that sends you push notifications (little message pop-up box with configurable sound) when a social networking site you’ve linked to has an update for you. You are allowed one site for free and then pay $.99 each additional one. I’ve set it up to notify me for any Facebook replies to posts I make or posts I’ve made comments on. It also lets me know when someone has DM’ed me or @mentioned me on Twitter. This app has saved me from having to upgrade to unlimited texts. Price = Free for first networking site.

Facebook

My work intranet bans Facebook access so if I need to get my fix and have a few minutes between meetings, I can Facebook on my iPhone. Since the most recent UI upgrade, it’s been much easier to use and much more reliable. It helps me keep up with my friends in the neighborhood and classmates I’ve reconnected with thanks to Facebook. Price = Free.

Foursquare

The whole idea behind Foursquare is that it helps you explore your city or new cities that you are visiting. When you are in a city covered by Foursquare, you can “check-in” at various locations. Each check-in gains you points and there is a leaderboard for those folks who earn lots of points for visiting many locations within a city within the week. If you frequent a location enough, and you have uploaded a profile picture on the internet site, you are declared Mayor of that location. So far, I’m Mayor of my home (yes, I know that’s lame), am Mayor of the Hampton Inn Las Vegas, and was recently dethroned Mayor of the Hartford Hilton. The other fun feature is that you can see where your other Foursquare friends have been - you may decide to meet up with them if you see that they’ve checked in to a location nearby. Price = Free.

Sally’s Salon
I was recommended this game by a friend at work who travels much more than I do and who is someone I trust when it comes to tech rec’s. It doesn’t disappoint. I love to play Sally’s Salon when I’m killing time due to a flight delay at the airport. The object of the game is to keep customers moving through your beauty salon without making any of them wait for too long or undergo treatments that don’t meet their needs. It’s so satisfying to earn points for just being good at coordinating and multi-tasking. Price = $.99

Shazam

Ever want to know the name of the tune playing but can’t quite remember? Shazam solves that problem for you. It listens to the song and then tags it with the name and artist. The music has to be loud enough for it to get a good listen, which has been the only challenge I’ve encountered with the app. I upgraded to Shazam Encore recently which allows for recording of the location you were at when the music was tagged, twittering of the song if you’ve configured it to do so, and tons of other good features. Shazam Price = Free. Shazam Encore = $4.99.

So how about you? What are your favorite iPhone apps, either for work or for play?

Elia Sheldon is a working mother of two daughters who lives in Chatham, NJ and manages large scale programs for a Fortune 50 company. She enjoys time with her family, working on her novel, and attending hot yoga classes. Her column focuses on providing ideas, thoughts, and advice to help demystify the corporate jungle and achieve better work life balance. Need advice? Send questions to: elia@eliasheldon.com.

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Some people navigate the holidays with such a reservoir of grace that I feel as if they are from another planet—the planet of the ever-happy Chirpy People. These people are a marvel, and, as I continue to grow older, I feel less and less disdain for them. The disdain is slowly being replaced by a sense of awe, a near-disbelief at the authentic joy they express at the mere contemplation of eggnog and family dinners where enough food to feed a village is served. And, while I am not that person, I am making peace with the holidays the same way I do with long lines at the DMV: It just is so I am learning to accept it.

This time of year is difficult for me, as it is for many people who don’t buy into the ho-ho-ho-spend-your-savings-on-a-bunch-of-future-landfill-stuff-as-a-feeble-gesture extravaganza that Christmas in the U.S. has become. In past years, Christmas, just the thought of it, has filled me with so much anxiety that I have become sick over it. And for those who read my last column, The Fissure, you know that I have recently struggled with anxiety attacks and tenuous mental health. The holiday season is enough to push me back into the darkness of panic and hyperventilation.

Yet, as I write this, on December 20, 2009, only five days away from Christmas, I am feeling surprisingly calm and present. A general sense of contentment pervades my entire being despite some still very real stressors in my life. Coping skills working? Check. Maintaining perspective? Check. Keeping my sense of humor intact? Check again. What a difference in my outlook this month compared with the last few months—and this, typically my most stressful time of the year!

The response I received from The Fissure was inspiring. I heard from many readers, publicly and privately, that they, too, had similar episodes of mental instability and anxiety or panic attacks. That so many people could relate to what I went through was heartening—not, of course, because they felt the depths of despair as I did, but because lots of us go through this in silence and by writing about it I was able to help others feel less crazy, less alone, less invisible.

So, I bring you this epilogue, amidst the holiday hoopla and end-of-the year craziness to say that I feel surprisingly sane these days. Not in an I-think-I’ll-move-to-the-suburbs-I’m-so-normal sort of way, but back to my generally healthy mental state with momentary blips of what I consider to be charming craziness. The stuff that makes me, well, me. And I’m just fine with that.

The key to my continued success along the path to wellness has been the support of my friends (and my dear mother), my yoga practice, and my relentless pursuit of health through nutrition, information, and contemplation.

I met with a writer friend recently and she marveled at the fact that I did it, am doing it, am getting well and staying well without medication. She wasn’t the only one to comment on that, come to think of it. Another writer I know was impressed with this, too. Apparently we writers are a sensitive lot and prone to mental instability—again, it’s part of our charm.

For whatever reason, I have the ability to push through the dark without the aid of pharmaceuticals—at least thus far. The psychological swamp is a scary place to traverse, alone, all dark-damp and dripping with our worst fears and it’s not to be taken lightly. If necessary, I would consider medication to help me through the mire next time.

But this isn’t a commentary on the pros and cons of better living through modern chemistry. This is a report card; it’s even a sort of love letter, to you, dear reader, and to the universe—to let you know that I am doing well as I dip my toes into the advancing tide that is 2010. It’s my way of letting you know that I am fine, that I am pretty optimistic about the now and the future and that I am working toward thrive (instead of just survive). And to thank you, dear reader, for being there, wherever you are—I wish for you the best of health in 2010.

Shanna is a writer, thinker, newly-minted yoga teacher, and muse-for-hire. She likes to travel—discovering inspiration in the ordinary; magic in the mundane. Shanna lives in San Diego but misses Portland, Paris, and Prague. She thinks there’s a theme there. You can follow her witticisms and sage commentary on twitter: http://twitter.com/shannatrenholm or on her blog at http://shannatrenholm.posterous.com/.

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We’ve chosen to run our interview with Peter largely unedited, though we’ve split it in half for ease of reading.

Many of us grew up with your music because our parents listened to it. For those of us who aren’t 1st generation fans, will you tell us a bit about your own beginnings? Did you always want a career in music? How was Peter, Paul & Mary formed?

I grew up in New York City, attending PS6 and then the High School of Music & Art, one of two “Fame” schools, where I was an Art Major. I had studied the violin in my early youth before picking up the guitar, though until my senior year in college, I thought my life’s passion would be painting and design. At Cornell University, I started as a Physics Major, but ended up with a degree in Experimental Psychology. While there, I became President of the Folk Song Club and, as a senior, was offered an instructorship in English 355-356, Folk Ballads and Folk Songs (popularly called “Romp ‘n Stomp”) where I first came to understand how music sung together could create a strong, caring, community environment, erasing bias and intolerance for a while, and perhaps much longer.

After graduation, I want directly to Greenwich Village where I got a gig playing nightly at “The Café Wha?”, one of several coffee houses where performers “passed the hat” and lived a life of Bohemian wonderment, loving every second of it and sensing a world about to change dramatically, as it did shortly starting in the 1960’s. After about a year of traveling the coffee house and folk club circuit, my manager, Albert Grossman, suggested that we look for two other singers to create a group with a strong woman singer and a comedian who could also sing well. The group was Albert’s concept, but the picking of the singers was our joint task, and that story is very long and involved and I can’t tell the whole tale right now.

“I guess, just the way a couple in love lives deeply in the moment, or a parent just becomes consumed by a new-born child, Noel, Mary and I were too busy to think about fame and recognition.”

Eventually, Noel Paul Stookey and Mary Travers and I wound up singing “Mary Had A Little Lamb” in Noel’s fourth floor walkup in what was then the grubby East Village. The three of us marveled at the immediately beautiful and arresting sound of our voices together and we decided to work together on the spot. (Albert Grossman was very famous for his taste and for his powerful advocacy for his acts, and he later managed Bob Dylan, Gordon Lightfoot, Richie Havens, The Band, Janis Joplin, and many more remarkable performers).

After 7 months of constant rehearsal, Mary, Noel Paul and I made our first paid appearance, a 6 weeks gig at “The Bitter End”. Three days after we opened you couldn’t get a ticket on a walk-in. Following that success, events moved at a very rapid pace. Less than a year later we had the # 1 Album in the United States, “Peter, Paul & Mary”, and the life of passionate performing, day in and day out, as well as the birth of our political advocacies for justice and freedom began what was to be almost a 50 year, amazing ride.

Mary’s passing in September of 2009, which seems just yesterday yet years away, ended the trio’s career together, but the music lives on with “Puff, The Magic Dragon”, “Leaving On A Jet Plane”, “Blowin’ In The Wind”, “If I Had A Hammer” and many other songs, TV shows for PBS and memories of marching together for equal rights, peace, the environment, women’s rights and more. I could not be more grateful for our wonderful history, together, and I miss Mary deeply, as you might expect. I think of her every time I sing a song

Did you know, at the time, that you would all become, not just monumentally famous, but cultural icons?

For the trio, being together was never a matter of looking into the future and assessing how famous or how successful, or even how respected, we might become. We simply lived the day-to-day rapidity of a highly energetic schedule, loved ever concert and continued to be amazed at the incredible response we got from those attending our concerts. After each concert, we’d greet the audience that stayed to say hello or sign autographs, but would also talk way into the night about the world that was turning and changing so dramatically around us.

In our earliest years, the issue under discussion was the Civil Rights Movement during which so many young people left college in the summers to register African-Americans in the South who had been prevented from voting because of what were called “Jim Crow Laws” that made it difficult, if not impossible, for our fellow Americans to vote. In the years that followed, starting around 1967, the issue began to focus more around the Anti-Vietnam War movement that was gaining momentum. I was extremely involved, as were Noel Paul and Mary, but in my case, there was a passion that eclipsed most other pursuits. After each concert I would talk to many young men who were torn about what to do in regard to the war and the draft. Some were considering going to jail rather than entering the war, some were contemplating going to Canada for sanctuary, some applied for “Conscientious Objector” status based on their religion or family history of Pacifism. Others went to war, some died, many came back broken in body and spirit, and others did go to jail. It was a time of great passion, pain, protest, love and hope. It was exhausting but extraordinary in many, many ways.

I guess, just the way a couple in love lives deeply in the moment, or a parent just becomes consumed by a new-born child, Noel, Mary and I were too busy to think about fame and recognition. Life was too exciting, too challenging and too important, each second, to stop and assess where we might be in 20, 30 or 40 years. We just lived it, and I must say I totally loved it. (They loved it too, I think, but in different ways and not as obsessively as I did, I suspect.)

Do you have a favorite memory involving Peter, Paul & Mary?

My favorite memory of singing with the trio was when or performance at the March On Washington where we sang Bob Dylan’s “Blowing in the Wind” and Pete Seeger and Lee Hays’ (of the Weavers) “If I Had A Hammer”. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “I Have A Dream” speech and the air, itself, seemed to change around us, as we began to realize that this event would alter all of our lives forever. Never before or since have I sensed such a powerful determination and unified commitment amongst a crowd, in this case a quarter of a million people who had gathered together to pledge themselves to eliminate racism and second class citizenship for Americans of color, no matter how hard it might be, or what it took to become successful. In the years that followed, many activists were beaten, jailed and even murdered by racists like those in the Klu Klux Klan who killed Goodman, Chaney and Schwerner in Mississippi, three college students who entered the struggle to bring fairness and justice to America. They lost their lives, and Peter, Paul & Mary sang at Andrew Goodman’s gravesite at the laying of his gravestone where we sang, “Blowing in the Wind.”

When we were listening to Martin Luther King deliver his famous address, Mary took my hand and said, “Peter, we’re listening to history being made”. She was right, because we never stopped working toward the goal of equitable and equal treatment of African Americans in our country. Later, we went on the “Selma to Montgomery March” and made many other appearances for the Civil Rights Movement that soon melded into appearances for peace, equality for women, the environment, Antiapartheid and the like. In a way, our being together as a trio was as much about singing for the things we believed in as it was making concert appearances, records and CDs.

“I looked at the problems of our country as something to be overcome by grass roots organizing, such as what was done in the Civil Rights Movement and the Peace Movement and so I became an organizer of singers and musicians for these causes.”

I’m so very, very, proud that Mary lived to see the victory of Barack Obama. That was the end of the first “arc” of the struggle, of which I was a part, for fairness for blacks in our country. Now we’re on a new journey in that struggle, especially regarding the unfairness and injustice of the way young black males are targeted, sent to jail, and deprived early in life of acceptance in society, dignity, hope, and the many kinds of opportunities that are available to almost all of their white brothers.

We’ve still got a long way to go, but we’ve moved so far towards becoming a nation that embraces diversity, people of all races, ethnic backgrounds, and religions. Our accomplishments in the arena of Civil Rights were a manifestation of the best that America can be, the real genius of our country. I doubt that any other country in the world could have changed that comprehensively in so short a period of time in an area of entrenched injustice, bias and racism. In this regard, I’m very proud of my country, and proud to be an American.

While the three of you often publically supported a single cause, as individuals you sometimes supported different ones. Is the apparent respect each of you had for the others’ “pet issues” real, or just wishful thinking on the part of your audience? How did divergent social or political issues affect the dynamics of the group?

All of us in the trio pretty much agreed on the major issues of the time though our perspectives on these issues were frequently different. I looked at the problems of our country as something to be overcome by grass roots organizing, such as the efforts of the Civil Rights Movement and the Peace Movement, and so I became an organizer of singers and musicians for these causes. Noel Paul came at his advocacy in a much more personal manner. For him, advocacy was more a matter of enlightening the spirit and heart of each person, one by one, and making sure that each person lived the dream, personally, that they wanted to create for the world. Noel Paul’s songs reflected his perspective and mine reflected my own way of addressing the challenges of the world. I believed that music, if properly utilized as an organizing tool, could lead to inspiration and enlightenment as well as the political and spiritual growth of society However, in addition to a change of attitude, I wanted to achieve concrete results that could be measured in changed laws and new policies, like the ending of school segregation or the ending of the Vietnam War. In the end, both Noel Paul and I became more and more like each other in perspective, though in the early years we embraced very different methodologies to reach the same ends.

Mary, on the other hand, seemed to bridge our two perspectives. She was perhaps the greatest “ground breaker” of the three of us simply because she was a powerful, beautiful, woman who refused to “play a part”, take on a false persona, act like someone she wasn’t. She was a great role model, especially for younger women, because she was personally free in the deepest sense and she never bowed in foolish deference to men just to get their attention or use “feminine wiles” to get them to do something she wanted them to do. She was, in life and in her music, defiantly truthful, never manipulative, and you always knew where you stood with her, especially if you were in the middle of a disagreement about something.

The members of our trio always respected the other’s different points of view. When there was an issue, we talked through everything to make sure that we had arrived at a consensus. That was hard, but I think that was perhaps the most important reason we were able to stay together for almost 50 years and not break apart. During the last 5 years of our career and friendship together, none of the disagreements or differences in our points of view mattered even a little bit. All was love and gratitude for the wonderful good fortune of having had each other as friends, working partners, and extended family for so many remarkable years.

You’ve been involved in the Kerrville (TX) Folk Festival since its inception in 1972. Please tell us a bit about the festival in general, and your involvement with it? Do you still attend, and if so, do you attend solely as a performer, or do you participate in the workshops as well?

I was one of the founders of the Kerrville Folk Festival in 1972 that became, perhaps, the most meaningful platform for new writers of songs in the United States. In fact, in the last two decades of our career, most of Peter, Paul & Mary’s new songs came from the “New Folks” writers as they are called. New Folks enter a competition each year in which their songs are judged by a panel of notable songwriters, not for their commercial potential, but for their song-craft, their ability to move a listener and for the strength of their content.

Kerrville Folk Festival is like a second home to me now and I always attend to sing there on, or near, my birthday, I come to say hello to, and hug, my many friends and listen to the songs, newly written, from the stage of the New Folks competition and at the campfires that are spread all over the Quiet Valley Ranch where the festival is held. I am proud that this remarkable event has never become costly to attend. Most folks camp out, as does my son, Christopher who, when he reached college age, produced the Staff Concert for ten years. Most of the staffers (and there are hundreds of them each year) are musicians themselves and their concert is always a highlight of the festival. Last year, Christopher backed me up on the washtub bass, which he plays wonderfully and with a rhythmic empathy that is clearly a matter of our sharing the same gene pool. (He’s always “right there” which is the greatest feeling of support from another musician, when I sing.)

My daughter, Bethany, now an accomplished singer in her own right, has sung with me many times at Kerrville. When she was 7 and 8 she mounted the stage and sang fearlessly with her adoring eyes following my lead, and her face paint (that all the kids get) unselfconsciously announcing the unusual dichotomy between a song like “500 Miles”, so sad and emotional, and the colorful joy of her cheeks striped in red, blue and purple (her favorite color). Now, of course, when she sings at Kerrville, she is a full-fledged artist on her own, performing with Rufus Cappadocia, her musical partner and virtuoso cellist — who plays the cello more like Jimmy Hendricks played the guitar.

“For the first decade, I always spoke to them in preparation for their performances which I hosted, counseling them that this was not really a “competition”, but the birth of what might be, in their lives, a new family of supportive, talented singers and musicians…”

Being at Kerrville is stepping into a world of friendship, hope and beauty of song, coupled with the wry sense of humor that comes from the Texas songwriters that have made their delightfully irreverent stamp on the tone of everything that transpires at the festival. To be newly at Kerrville is to be a Kerrvirgin; to be a long-time attendee is to be a Kervert, and know that on the weekdays, if you’re out of food, your best bet is to buy lunch at the Kerrstore.

Noel Paul and his daughter, Elizabeth, created a festival within a festival there called “Music To Life” that presents the songwriting winners of new songs that seek to help and heal the world. This adjunct festival takes place every two years, and adds to the amazingly rich treasure chest of songs I hear at Kerrville that move me, and rejuvenate me, each year.

Best of all, I’ve counseled many a new aspiring song writer to go to Kerrville and listen, play at the campfires and take the measure of their own passion and talent. Invariably, they become hard-core Kerrverts whose lives as artists take new flight as they realize that they are far from alone in their efforts to bring some beauty and truth to the world. They realize that, as the sign says where you leave Kerrville Folk Festival “IT CAN ALWAYS BE THIS WAY”. They have a star to guide them till they come back the next year to be refreshed and re-inspired, as am I, each year at Kerrville. The festival runs from the last week in May through the first two weeks in June.

Do you feel as if you’re a sort of mentor to any of the younger artists who’ve come from those workshops? Are there any we should be watching for/listening to?

Because I was the originator of the New Folks Competition, which was patterned after a similar concert that I organized at the Newport Folk Festival in the mid 1960s, I think of all of the New Folks singers as my “children” in a way. For the first decade, I always spoke to them in preparation for their performances which I hosted, counseling them that this was not really a “competition”, but the birth of what might be, in their lives, a new family of supportive, talented singers and musicians; a network of wonderful friends who could be there for them personally, musically and professionally – to help them, encourage them and validate them in their ongoing life as artists and purveyors of heart and spirit, tellers of tales, and troubadours of a vision for a more just and peaceful world. Inevitably, the New Folks participants become a close-knit family, and the whole idea of “winning” is replaced by a spirit of mutual support and the awareness that, in the most important of ways, they are all very much “winners” in the deepest sense.

If you come to Kerrville, most of the New Folks songs you will hear will have some value to you, I suspect, and you will be listening to the future singers of wonderful, caring, moving and sometimes madly humorous music. Singers such as David Wilcox, Buddy Mondlock, Tish Hinahosa, Lyle Lovett and many others were KFF (Kerrville Folk Festival) New Folk contestants and “winners”, and all benefited greatly from the gift of Kerrville.

I recommend KFF to everyone and anyone who reads this. It can, and might well, change your life in the most wonderful ways.

In addition to your music, we know you as a passionate social activist. Which came first, music or activism, or are they completely intertwined?
Folk songs, as Mary Travers always said, tell you, “If you’re going to sing me, you have to live me, too.” Singing these songs takes on a life of its own after a while because when you sing folk songs, some of which have been part of history for hundreds of years, you feel their history within yourself. You feel the joy, the dreams, the pain, of those who have gone before you, those who created those songs, not for money or for fame, but because they had to write of their own lives, their own passions and tell their own stories. Feeling that connection to history and the souls of those who have put their hearts on the line in music before you makes you less “about yourself” and more about “us” all. You feel less alone, less confused by the big issues of life, than you might otherwise have been, and you feel that you, yourself, are in some mysterious ways connected to the world as a whole, and to the ages. You know for sure that the world did not start with you, nor will it end with you, and you know that, not only is this ok, this is cause for celebration and gratitude.

Because of this, it is my belief, that for those who sing as song-leaders, or as part of a group that shares a folk song (with or without a leader), singing folk music makes you a better person. You become a more respectful, more sensitive to the troubles and challenges of others, as well as more aware of your place in the historical sweep of history that could engulf you in a sense of powerlessness, if you let it. But with folk music, and a sense of community that it creates, that sense of powerlessness is far less likely to take hold of you.

“The Arts encourage the social and emotional growth of young people, and gives them the tools to form a strong bond among their peers. The Arts encourage youth to accept one another, to admire (not fear and despise) diversity.”

I know that my mother, Vera Yarrow, a high school teacher in English, Speech and Drama, was fervently idealistic, and that she imbued in me a most progressive viewpoint on society and politics. However, much as I attribute my early inclinations to the perspective and inspiration of my mother (my father was not there, as there was a “bitter” divorce when I was five years old), it was folk music that gave me a tool to express myself and advocate for her, and what became my, political and social justice perspective.

Through singing folk songs, I was able to combine my music with growing commitment to activism, to sing in the ways I had seen Pete Seeger and the Weavers, Woody Guthrie and others, try to inspire people to work to make the world a better place. In my efforts to help heal the world, (In the Jewish tradition such efforts are called pursuing Tikkun Olam.) Sometimes it was a matter of singing for, or hoping to reach, one person at a time, but with Peter, Paul and Mary, on quite a few occasions we found ourselves singing in front of ten, or even hundreds of thousands of people, and on one occasion in the Philippines two million people.

Do you feel that the youth, teens and young adults of today are lacking a fundamental connection with social justice? Conversely, do you think older generations have given up their causes, and handed off the responsibility?

I worry about the youth of today because, what they don’t have that I did have when I was growing up, are the sources of information and inspiration that gave me a great sense of empowerment and belief that I, working alone, but in concert with, and connected to, many, many other people’s intentions, could make a real difference. I, and so many others like me, believed that, together, we could forge a different path for our country and the world — one that was more humane, fair and peaceful. Such information and inspiration allowed me to not only have faith that my efforts were not in vain, but to have a balanced perspective on my life, accepting the setbacks and defeats when they came, but also rejoicing in the tiny steps that were made with frequency, getting us closer to achieving our long range goals.

Alas, many of these sources of inspiration, like the music that we sang at the time, are not available to the children and youth of today. They don’t have the kind of rich cultural experiences in schools, or in their homes for that matter, that we had and that were so important to the growth of our awareness and our emotional and social development. Rarely, these days, do I find that teen-agers are willing to sing. They are embarrassed to sing, to show their emotions, to show their vulnerabilities. The Arts encourage the social and emotional growth of young people, and gives them the tools to form a strong bond among their peers. The Arts encourage youth to accept one another, to admire (not fear and despise) diversity. The Arts allow us to use our hearts, not our logical systems, to address issues of the heart.

The absence of a focus in schools on the humane growth of children and youth, the arenas of their social and emotional development, the destructive effect of reality TV shows that are “shame-based” in which adults who are acting out teach children and youth the frightening skills of humiliation and ridicule, the horrible reality of violence, the fact of the epidemic of childhood depression, and suicide among our youth, the acceptance of bullying as an acceptable way for people to interact in business, in government and in the social hierarchies of our society, all these things and more make it harder and harder for children to grow up healthy and whole.

The unintended, and very destructive aspects of the No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) that sets the standards for education in America and evaluates the performance of schools, very unfortunately, resulted in the “narrowing” the classroom curricula by eliminating much of the Arts, eliminating many classes that lay the groundwork for, and encourage, creative thinking, as opposed the limiting focus on rote learning of the basics whereby teachers were now “teaching to the test”, the high-stakes examinations that evaluated students’ and schools’ performance.

Gone were the classes that developed 21st Century problem solving skills including thinking creatively, in favor of an intense focus on the of Math, Science and English, all of which are important, but only part of the puzzle of preparing children for life and cannot, themselves, tend to all the growth needs of children and youth. NCLB, though it did give us a measurement to know how students were doing in the “basics”, it inadvertently helped to instill a climate of fear of failure in schools, among teachers and children, and contributed to the national crises in psychological, emotional and social health among our children and youth. Thank goodness, this very faulted perspective is currently being considered for revision by Arne Duncan, US Secretary of Education, and the Department of Education that he leads in the Obama Administration.

If, and this is a big if, schools become centers of communities where children are taught, first and foremost, to be good human beings, caring and involved future citizens of their countries and the world, and able to think for themselves… And, if, and this is another big if, schools allow and nurture the development of the creative side of children… And If, and it goes without saying this is a huge if, the superficial values of our adult world that measure the worth of someone in terms of their objects they have bought, their accumulated wealth, their fame (more frequently than not, these days, fame in the sense that Paris Hilton acquired fame, based on style — not content or good works — and often accompanied by outrageous acting out… And if music and the Arts are once again cultivated, shared, respected, and practiced as a daily part of efforts to eliminate bias, racism, pettiness, selfishness, hatred of “the other,” greed and inhumanity…. Then, slowly and gradually, I think we will start to see a return to normalcy and caring as the basic tenets and traditions of our current society.

Incidentally, not only are our children and youth endangered, psychologically, and wounded of heart and spirit, but democracy itself is also endangered by the current educational philosophy and perspective that does not educate children and youth to be good, ethical, active, human beings and participatory citizens. Education today fails terribly in its duty to educate students to become willing and dedicated participants in their society who care about the general welfare, societal fairness, justice, social and financial equity, and who also care about the environment that we leave for the next generation, rather than focus on greedily grabbing the biggest material piece of what’s left – all this being especially unfortunate given the scarcity for so many, that surrounds us.

“If we can reconstruct the way in which we educate our children, the way they are either taught to continue the cycle of division and war that plagues the world or, conversely, to go beyond past hatreds and habits of retribution, find our inspiration and leadership among those who have not yet been taught to hate, to fear and renew the pain of the past. In the next generation we can find bridges to heal the mistakes we’ve made.”

Democracy is founded on the idea that each of us becomes knowledgeable enough to independently come to a decision about the best course for our people, our laws, and our nation to take. Democracy depends upon our voting on our independently arrived at, carefully weighed, opinions and convictions. Democracy needs for people to be informed and honest, open and willing to learn and listen, debate with civility and respect, and not be swayed by appeals to their least caring selves, appeals to their fear of others, fear of change or progress. Democracy needs us to be immune to appeals to our capacity for selfishness, and rather be available to appeals to hopefulness, appeals to our ideals and to a call for us to find common ground among our disparate perspectives, and ultimately pull together in the interests of our country and the world. Democracy needs us to understand that injustice for one of us is potentially injustice to all of us, and embrace the belief that together, in generosity and caring compassion, we can make a better, fairer and more peaceful world.

If we can reconstruct the way in which we educate our children, the way they are either taught to continue the cycle of division and war that plagues the world or, conversely, to go beyond past hatreds and habits of retribution, find our inspiration and leadership among those who have not yet been taught to hate, to fear and renew the pain of the past. In the next generation we can find bridges to heal the mistakes we’ve made.

We need to have the courage to engage all of America in a national dialogue regarding wars that we entered based on lies or (at best) terrible errors of information or judgment, mistakes that have been passed over in terms of our need to accept responsibility for the destructive things we have done to our countrymen and women and to the people of other lands. We need to have a national dialogue to heal ourselves, as a nation, so that we can make amends and forgive ourselves and ask forgiveness of those we have injured. I’m speaking about, for example, those tortured in Guantanamo (in contravention of the Nuremberg Convention that outlawed torture in a treaty the United States signed). We need to become whole in our hearts about, and face the reality of, what we have done to those who, to this day, cannot go back to the unreconstructed 7th and 9th Wards in New Orleans, to those who lost family members in these wards after Katrina because rescue efforts ignored them, they who were people of color and less affluent than those who were attended to, until it was too late.

In short, we need our next generation to be unafraid to enter into the process of healing and that implies taking responsibility for the hurtful, terrible things we, as a nation, have done. We are a great nation, but one that refuses to look at our mistakes and the tragic results of these mistakes. If we don’t educate our children, in their homes as well as in their schools, to be humble, humane and honest with themselves, we will walk around with a great burden of guilt for goodness knows how long, like a hit-and-run driver that has escaped the scene of the accident but whose heart is deeply burdened by the pain and injury, sometimes death, that he has caused. In effect, we need to “turn ourselves in” to one another, stop hiding our guilt and our past transgressions, and trust that in doing so we might re-ignite the goodness, the decency, the civility, the respect, the reputation and the idealism of our nation.

I believe that over the long run we will have to do this or fall into serious decline as a nation whose heart has been irreparably bruised. The same issues of honesty vs. irresponsibility apply to a person, as in the case of Bernie Maedoff, who had to live with a huge guilt of injury, because of his actions, being inflicted on a daily basis upon so many people whose lives he ruined. If we do not open our hearts and stop labeling the recognition of our country’s faults and failures, mistakes and crimes against humanity, as unpatriotic opinions and actions – because we’re criticizing our nation – then we, each of us, bears some responsibility for the socio-pathological state we are sustaining, and for keeping us and our children in this state of being, perhaps too long to reclaim the heart and spirit of what has made, and can continue to make, America great.

For information about the Kerrville Folk Festival, please visit their website. For more with Peter Yarrow, please continue on to part two of our interview.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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You’ve spoken about the concept of Tikkun Olam. For our readers who may not be familiar with Jewish culture and traditions, or simply haven’t heard the term, can you offer a brief interpretation of it, as it applies to you?

“Tikkun Olam means that each of us has the responsibility to repair the world and heal the world, not alone by ourselves, but we each have the responsibility to do what we can, in our own individual ways, to help heal and repair the world.”

Tikkun Olam means that each of us has the responsibility to repair the world and heal the world, not alone by ourselves, but we each have the responsibility to do what we can, in our own individual ways, to help heal and repair the world. This is, for me, is the most important and inspiring teaching of Judaism. I firmly believe that if we all devote ourselves to pursuing Tikkun Olam as a central part of our lives, the world will get better and better.

In the words of the great moral leader Mahatma Gandhi of India, who changed the world and inspired so many of us, including Barrack Obama, we must “be the change we seek to make in the world”, which means we cannot work towards greater humanity in some organization and then go home to humiliate and mistreat our friends, our family or even our dogs, cats and farm animals. We must truly “live” and “be” the answer to the trials of the world we seek to heal.

I don’t mean that any of us can be one hundred percent in practicing Tikkun Olam, nor do I mean to say that I am successful in fully living up to the principles that I admire and respect in others. A good deal of the time, I fail to measure up to what I hold to be enviable and wonderful in other people. I am human, and faulted, as all of us are. But I do try, and I do make apologies and amends when I am aware of my mistakes, and I do realize that without my doing so I would be in a far less honest, balanced, healthy and happy place in my life. But I am also aware that I am one of the luckiest people I know because I am surrounded with so many advantages. So much that is wonderful in life, in my work, my friends, my singing, my ease and comfort in terms of a life-style that is beyond what I had ever imagined I might one day have. Certainly, my life is a far cry from one that keeps me in a state of fear of sickness, hunger of the absence of shelter as it does for a majority of civilization. I have much to be grateful for.

The inspiration and rewards of the work that I have done, so much of it with Noel Paul and Mary, have given me the chance to evolve into a person who is far more able to reach for the tasks, gifts and rewards of Tikkun Olam. Over the course of my life, I have become a person who is far less selfish and myopic, far less insensitive to other’s needs than I might have been had I not had music in my life and loving teachers, such as my own mother, my children, my friends and of course Mary and Noel Paul.

I have very serious feet of clay, but I am growing in heart and spirit every day, and doing so is completely allied to my continual ability to see myself as faulted, ask others for forgiveness when I transgress, and learn to forgive myself, rather than walking around trying to hide and justify my misdeeds, as does a “hit-and-run” driver I spoke of above.

Tell us a bit about Operation Respect. What was the inspiration for it, and where do you see it going? Do you have any advice for parents of kids who are being bullied?

The non-profit, Operation Respect, that I founded a decade ago, relates to all the things I’ve said above in this interview. Because I believe that children who have not yet “learned to hate” are the hope for humanity I also believe that the way in which they are educated (and educated to practice and embrace the concept of Tikkun Olam) is central to the way we ultimately deal with the problems we face in today’s world. Operation Respect’s school-based program, “Don’t Laugh At Me” (DLAM) provides the curricula and the tools to help change the environment of classrooms and schools so that they become more and more safe, ridicule and bully free and nurturing of all the needs of a growing child. DLAM is only one tool, though a good one that, in conjunction with others suited to the specific needs of a school or classroom, can dramatically change the classroom and school climate to one that is supportive of, and nurturing of, children and youth in their growth in all the dimensions of their development.

Through DLAM, children learn to be sensitized to the hurt of ridicule, to the pain of ostracism. They learn some of the basics in how to resolve conflicts creatively and non-violently. They learn to respect each other for the good things “inside” their friends, rather than the things their friends, or their friends’ families possess. They label their classrooms “Ridicule Free Zones” and create a “peace place” that reminds and teaches personal and interpersonal peace and understanding.

Most important, and this is why the “Don’t Laugh At Me” program is different from other similar programs, DLAM uses music, lots of music, to engage children and youth in ways that let them open their hearts and really talk from the “inside out”. Singing together provides a platform for doing all the things that are done in DLAM’s classroom exercises, all of which came from the amazing work of Linda Lantieri and her allied organization “Educators For Social Responsibility” that formulated the pedagogy, the classroom exercises and curricula, long before I began my advocacy efforts the field of educational reform in policy and practice.

If you go the Operation Respect website (OperationRespect.org) as a teacher, a school counselor, a school administrator, a person who works with children who have special needs/gifts, a person engaged in helping children and youth overcome problems or adversity, you can benefit from the free materials that will be sent to you by Operation Respect (OR), by virtue of the generosity of The McGraw-Hill Companies. You can download the “Don’t Laugh At Me Program” (DLAM) with its videos, CD’s, curricula for grades 2-5 and 6-8 and other materials. Additionally, all the songs that I’ve recorded for the books that have been published by Sterling can be downloaded FOR FREE if you will be using them to educate children and youth. Go to OperationRespect.org and make use of these materials and you will have the gift of the DLAM program and, as educators, the gift of the songs to use with the children and youth you are educating, nurturing or inspiring, that educated my heart and changed my life. You can share these songs with your students, listen to them and sing them with your students, and you will be enriched as much as they will be, I promise you.

You’ve shared with recent audiences a recording of the song “Don’t Laugh at Me” sung in English, Hebrew, and Arabic. What is the next evolution for that version of the song, and your work with Israeli and Palestinian youth? Do you think lasting peace is possible?

Yes, I do think that lasting peace is possible between Israelis and Palestinians, and I do think that a two state solution is all but inevitable, but I don’t think that peace can come from the wounded hearts of adults who are determined to resurrect the horror of the past, to renew the unendurable historic pain and fear, who are determined to never trust “the other side”, never move on from past horrors, horrors committed, in my opinion, by both sides in relation to the current conflict between Israelis and Palestinians. Such people are too wounded and too frightened to even imagine trusting the other side, and we, unfortunately, can seldom if ever look to them to guide us through the courageous process of changing the current, tragic, hostilities and endemic gridlock – and the status of de facto, intermittent, war between the Israeli and Palestinian peoples.

“The balance of the people on both sides must embrace the idea, the steps to, and the process of creation peace, and not only as a document signed by governments. Peace cannot truly happen, or hold, until young hearts are brought up without a commitment to hate the other side, to fear the ‘other’.”

But to create peace, we must somehow create peace in the hearts of both peoples or no negotiated solution will hold. The balance of the people on both sides must embrace the idea, the steps to, and the process of creation peace, and not only as a document signed by governments. Peace cannot truly happen, or hold, until young hearts are brought up without a commitment to hate the other side, to fear the “other”, or a determination to destroy the other.

To accomplish a small step in this regard, it is my dream to do my part (as in Tikkun Olam), not to make the whole change happen (of course, but would that I could), but to play the part I might play by bringing Operation Respect to Israel, both in predominately Palestinian schools as well as predominately Jewish schools, and even into the West Bank, and some day even to Gaza, We have started this effort, which goes beyond Operation Respect’s work that has brought DLAM in some form to over 22,000 schools in America, to Hong Kong in Mandarin and English, to Croatia in the Croatian language, to South Africa, to Bermuda and Canada etc. This past October, our Director of Education, Mark Weiss and his colleague, Lynn Hurdle-Price, trained the teachers and staff in four pilot schools in Israel, two schools with mainly Jewish students and two with Arabic students. I, myself, will be traveling to Israel with OR’s Board Chair, Dr. Charlotte Frank, in late January to sing at these schools and lay further groundwork for the expansion of this OR: DLAM work that is currently, and thankfully, underwritten in large part by the United States Embassy for its initial launch in the Middle East.

I know, from previous trips to Israel and the occupied territories of the Palestinian West Bank, that the children and youth of Israel and Palestine are willing and eager to move beyond the hatred and killing of the past. If these children, prior to their becoming entrenched in the habits of hate, before they irretrievably learn to be cynical and fearful of resolution of the terrible history of pain and anguish of the past conflicts, can be given the opportunity to lead the way, to engage with one another, to create and share their thoughts, their songs, their poetry, their hopes, their teen-age angst, their problems across national, ethnic and religious lines, then there will be a road to peace, and a lasting one at that.

Policy changes alone will not make the peace hold. Changes of the heart are necessary for that to occur, and that is where music, OR and DLAM have a role. Achieving this is one of my fondest dreams. I know, in my heart, that this is achievable, though I am also quite certain that I will not live to see the full realization of this dream. Simply to know that we are on the way, and that I have contributed in even small ways, will be quite enough for me, I assure you.

You’ve managed, with your children’s books Puff the Magic Dragon and Day is Done to create indelible visual images that also capture the essence of each song. What inspired those books, and are there more to come? What about the Peter Yarrow Songbooks?

The books that I’ve had published are also connected to all that I’ve mentioned, above. These books with CDs provide a new window for disseminating the kind of music that inspired me and changed my life, that being Folk Music, to reach today’s broad, popular, audience. At the age of 71, and being a folk-singer, if I had told you that I would have a million-selling CD, you would have laughed at me, and properly so. No folksinger today has access to the popular markets of music that have effectively been all but closed to folk music for over two decades.

However, I do have a million selling CD! It is the CD in the illustrated book, Puff The Magic Dragon, and this CD with three songs, “Puff”, “The Blue Tail Fly” and “Froggie Went A’Courtin” was recorded by me and my daughter, Bethany, a superb performer and singer in her own right, along with her musical partner, Rufus Cappadocia, a virtuoso cellist who plays the cello more the way Jimmy Hendricks played the guitar, though his background is in classical cello and he used to play cello in a symphony orchestra. This CD (that happens to be attached to a beautiful, exquisite in fact, illustrated book of the Puff song written by me and Lenny Lipton) will have sold a million copies by the end of the holiday season, 2009.

“At the age of 71, and being a folk-singer, if I had told you that I would have a million-selling CD, you would have laughed, and properly so. No folk singer today has access to the popular markets of music that have effectively been all but closed to folk music for over two decades.”

What does this have to do with DLAM and OR? Well, this music that has been “off the radar” now for decades in terms of a broad popular market, is now back in full force, as are the three collections of Folk Songs that have been illustrated, 12 songs to a book, of the three editions of The Peter Yarrow Song Book published by Sterling. The first released was Favorite Folk Songs, along with the second, Sleepytime Songs and the third, just released is Let’s Sing Together with all the songs recorded by me and Bethany, once again. (At least one more book in this series, Songs For Little People is yet to come, and will be released this coming spring of 2010.)

These books with CDs, or as I, from my singer’s perspective see them as CDs with beautiful, amazing and wonderful illustrated books attached, offer a treasure trove of the kind of music that has been somewhat lost, but is desperately needed in the lives of children, for all the reasons that I’ve stated above. The good news, of course, is that if you don’t have the money to buy these books, if you are an educator and you intend to use this music for the “education of the heart” and creativity of children, you can download all these songs at OperationRespect.org as well as download, or send for, the “Don’t Laugh At Me Program” Curricula.

So you see, these books, including the latest release of Day Is Done in illustrated book form, with CD, are all complementing the work of OR and DLAM. For me, this new success is a dream and a half, and I bet you can understand why. (Last month, Day Is Done went to the No.1 position on Publishers Weekly, a magazine for illustrated children’s books, as Puff… took the No.1 position for 16 solid weeks two years ago.)

You seem to have a connection with children that borders on the magical. What is it about young people that so delights you?

I have loved singing to and being with children ever since I was a counselor at a summer camp, Sprout Lake Camp for Cardiac Children, when I was barely 16 years old. I totally fell in love with being their surrogate “daddy” as a camp counselor, teaching them folk songs and painting (I was a young and hopeful painter then.) Magic happened to me that summer and that magic has remained in my life as the formulation of my relationship with my children. I would sing in both my children’s classes each week when they were very young, and now I sing for my grandchild, for her play group, and for all the children and youth that I encounter in the audiences of families when I travel to do concert at book signings and promotions for my books in bookstores, at book conventions, JCC’s etc.

And speaking of delight, after your recent performance/signing at the Dallas Jewish Community Center, several of us observed that we had never met anyone who so embodied pure joy. What inspires that bubbling energy that you share so (apparently) effortlessly? How do you balance it with the serious nature of so much of your work?

I’m blessed and fortunate in many ways, as I have explained above.

As to the reason for my being joyful when I am performing for families and children, that’s about all I can say. I’m fortunate, I’m really aware of it, I’m grateful in the extreme for my life, my work, my friends and my loved ones. The older I get the more grateful I get, and that applies to my having the opportunity to write these answers to your very astute and penetrating questions for this interview. (You did a great job, and I’m grateful to you for having been so thoughtful and gracefully provocative, giving me the platform to share my thoughts and feelings.).

We’re dying to know: when you’re playing music just to listen to (are you even capable of “just” listening?) whether it’s on vinyl, CD, or an mp3 player, what does Peter Yarrow listen to? Is there a secret rocker lurking inside you, or are you a jazz or classical fan?

I love opera, especially Puccini, and I have subscribed to the Metropolitan Opera for decades. It’s always a vacation to Europe when I go to the Met or City Opera in New York. I love classical music, mostly chamber music. I love R&B, the Blues, of course Folk, classic, historic, Jazz, World Music (MY DAUGHTER’S MUSIC which is roots music and Jazz combined, framed by “World Music” musicians is amazing, and I believe, some of the “music of the future”, internationally for sure, and hopefully nationally in the US as well.)

I also enjoy some pop, but not much from today, though I must say that my daughter has increased my appreciation of music that I previously did not know existed. As to a “secret rocker’, yes, there is one inside me, but I’m more a fan of the U2 kind of rock, and less of the hard rock such as “acid” rock or “punk” rock. As for “hip hop”, only in rare instances can I appreciate, or even follow the words, so I have to admit to being “generationally limited” in this regard. (However, having said that, there is a young “positive rapper”, Baby Jay, that has done brilliant versions of “Don’t Laugh At Me” and other songs that do resonate strongly with me, so I suspect that my aversion to rap music and hip-hop is more an inability to embrace the substance of many of the songs, rather than the rejection of the form. Remember, the “talking blues” were the rap music of the union moment of the 1940s and 1950s, so the idea of spoken word with music is not, inherently, either new nor offensive to me.)

True artists - like you - never seem to consider retirement; they just develop more care in choosing projects. What can we expect to see from you in the future?

More or the same, and gratefully so.

For more information about the “Don’t Laugh at Me” program, Peter strongly encourages you to visit OperationRespect.org. He also recommends his daughter’s music for those who like to try new things: BethanyMusic.com

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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Lisa, tell our readers about the Camp Lisa project. What is it, and what does it do?

“For me, as it is for many kids, [camp] was my first, safe taste of independence.”

It started as an album with my musician friends Michelle Lewis and Dan Petty, and then became the Camp Lisa Foundation, which we founded in order to send kids to camp. Through that, and the Camp Lisa album, we’re raising money to send kids to summer camp.

I noticed that the recording has real kids singing with you - they’re labeled as morning and afternoon campers…?

Yes. They’re friends kids you hear on the CD. I wanted it to feel like real camp. The album art is done by a real teenager, named Esme, who also loves summer camp.

So camp was an important thing for you as a child?

I loved camp! For me, as it is for many kids, it was my first, safe taste of independence.

What was your favorite camp experience?

Being scared to water ski, and then doing it, on this really cold scary lake. Being part of “skit” night. Singing a lot.

It sounds like you think every kid should spend time at summer camp.

Yes. I think it’s an experience everyone should have.

You’re a musician, a camp activist, a wife, a writer, desiging eyeware - how do you balance all the facets of your life?

I try to be disciplined. I focus on what I need to do, and sometimes I have to step back and look at the big picture and not do fun things until the other tasks are complete.

My life is a combination of laid back and structured. I work out most days, and eat really well, but then I’ll allow myself ten minutes to do a specific project.

Where do you find your inspiration?

Social activities - twitter, and also personal things - inspire creative thought. So does listening to other people’s music, and just in normal day-to-day life.

You mentioned in an interview elsewhere that you were a follower of Natalie Goldberg. How has her process helped you, or has it?

“I try to be disciplined. I focus on what I need to do, and sometimes I have to step back and look at the big picture and not do fun things until the other tasks are complete.”

It’s helped me balance discipline with the process of writing, because you have to sink into it. And basically, you have to connect, and just sit your ass down and write. Sometimes, I get too disciplined, and I’m not connected, and I hear a Natalie-voice in my head.

Are you going to publish, or…? What’s next for Lisa Loeb?

I am going to publish. I’m working on two children’s books, and another Camp Lisa album with more sing-a-long songs. I have some more grown-up projects I’m working on, as well, but I’m not ready to talk about them yet.

Are you concerned that talking about it will diminish your interest in a project?

No. But once I talk about something, people will keep asking me about it. It’s better just to wait, and announce it when it’s done, when it’s ready.

For more information about Camp Lisa, or to be the first to know when her eyeware hits stores, to check out Lisa’s website: Lisa Loeb.com.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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Dear Faithful Reader:

By now you know that I have a somewhat jaded, albeit hopeful view of life, a contradiction of being that I maintain with equal doses of reality and humor knocked back like a shot of tequila on a hot summer’s night. Of this disposition, I remain. If you are a new reader, you’ll have to take my word for this, this, this sort of optimistic melancholia that is a hallmark of my personality. Perhaps, new reader, you’d like to review my previous column, which proffers a celestial theory for this paradoxical situation (The Poet and the Taskmistress, Sept./Oct. issue).

Like most people, I’ve had my share of ups and downs as I’ve traveled along this tenuous path called life. Much of the time I have managed to stay upright, afloat, able to meet the demands and obligations of my life—and the expectations of me, real or perceived, from external forces. My ability to survive, and triumph over, the universe’s little shenanigans is lauded by many. Or at least I’d like to think it is. However, I must share with you the recent shift in my thoughts and emotions that had threatened to topple my usual resilient self.

I believe I am coming back from what I can only call a psychic break. A discernible tear in the thread of my soul-fabric. A disconnect from my essential self. This break started to show about a month ago, but in truth, it probably began long before that. These things don’t happen over night. They boil and bubble and brew under the surface until they, these awkward, undefined, and often terrifying feelings peak and reveal their warty visages.

Within a 24-hour period, possibly the tipping point that precipitated the fissure, I had lost two clients with the likelihood of losing a third. This loss represented nearly half of my business. And for those of you who are solopreneurs, self-employed, or whatever term you use to describe your non-W-2 work status, you understand how scary this situation can be in our current economic climate.

In addition to work drama, my personal life had heated up in ways both frustrating and promising, and I had just entered the last few hours of my 200-hour yoga teacher training program. Then my beloved dog, Lola, blew her hip out. She needs surgery and I need funds. It was too much for one little redhead to handle.

” I’m looking to thrive, not just survive.”

Up to this point, I had been surviving just fine, thank you. And this is all well and good, if mere survival were the goal. When I hear people comment on their lives, and the word survival comes up, it’s often used in a way that suggests survival is akin to actual living. Well, I call malarkey on that! Malarkey, because I wanted to find a way to work that word into this column, and malarkey because survival, mere or otherwise, represents a life not well-lived. Me? I’m looking to thrive, not just survive.

So, back to the psychic break. I fancy myself a capable, strong, and composed woman, and indeed I am. For the most part. But this recent incident, this Stygian period, my own self-flagellating, hair-shirt-wearing, dark ages plunged me into an abyss like none that I remember. To use the term, depression, seems a bit of an understatement. I was sure I was going mad. And then the panic attacks came. Like clockwork, the anxiety rose up to greet me—a familiar sensation both frightening and crippling—every morning. And afternoon. And sometimes in the evening.

My entire being, my inner Self and my outer self were buffeted by the winds of circumstance. Every little anomaly in my routine or bit of bad news was enough to send my pulse racing, my heart thumping, and my thoughts to a million sinister places. I couldn’t see my way clear to get control over the constant mental barrage even as I recognized that it was just my thoughts holding me hostage.

It’s not that the circumstances or the visceral responses weren’t real; it’s just that my mind had taken over and was delivering up a smorgasbord of unsavory morsels. Destructive tidbits that were tearing at the fabric of my being. My work life, my personal life, and my health (to say the least) were suffering. I went days without eating much and I couldn’t concentrate—my brain was scattered from trying to manage the anguish I felt under the stress of too little sleep and even less nourishment.

Then, like a gradual clearing in the forest, a way out became evident. It didn’t happen over night, and it wasn’t instantaneous. Through a combination of educating myself about anxiety and depression, just observing my feelings during the panic attacks, and the love and help of good friends I was able to turn a corner. I found a fork in the road that took me out of the woods and back into the light. A slow, plodding, methodical way out of the fissure. The work is far from done, as I am still processing the detritus left over from this spell of darkness, but each day brings me back to my self.

This bout taught me that my solidity, my inner strength, is always there, but it does take daily nurturance and reinforcement to remain in a place of inner peace—a place that no outside force could sway. The importance of having a network of true friends like Sophia, who sat with me for a full day, fed me, and watched over me like a fierce and loving mama bear, is key. Additionally, pursuits that make me feel happy and confident and reevaluating what I want and need from life are elements of a durable foundation.

Depression, anxiety, and panic attacks are not fun for those who suffer from these debilitating diseases. They are real and not something to be minimized. If you can relate to what I went through, find a way to get help. You don’t need to live this way—there are many things you can do to alleviate the stress and pain. I’m working on thrive, how about you?

[This essay is dedicated to Jessie, Tim, and Sophia. Without their love and friendship, I’d still be down the rabbit hole].

Shanna is a writer, thinker, newly-minted yoga teacher, and muse-for-hire. She likes to travel—discovering inspiration in the ordinary; magic in the mundane. Shanna lives in San Diego but misses Portland, Paris, and Prague. She thinks there’s a theme there. You can follow her witticisms and sage commentary on twitter: http://twitter.com/shannatrenholm or on her blog at http://shannatrenholm.posterous.com/.

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How did you start writing? Was it a conscious decision or did it just happen?

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a writer but ‘wanting’ is far different from ‘doing’. I always seemed to have an excuse for not writing. First there was university then jobs, kids, etc. When would I ever find time to write? Writing just never seemed to fit in with the plan.

About five years ago, though, I had a toddler and a one year-old at home and was trying to decide whether to return to my old job or to find work I could do from home when a friend asked ‘What about your writing?’

Totally busted.

Someone was finally taking me to task and making me responsible for ‘doing’ instead of just ‘wanting’. That’s when I realized it wasn’t a matter of finding time but rather making time to write. So now, I try to live by the wise words of the great Yoda ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’

You write young adult and middle grade books. Have you always wanted to write books for children? Would you ever consider writing a novel in any other genre?

Whenever I imagined myself writing, it was always as a children’s writer. The great thing about children’s writing is that I get to write in all sorts of genres already, so I never feel stifled, creativity-wise.

My first novel, ACADIAN STAR, is a middle grade time-travel adventure. I also have five non-fiction books for kids which are mostly science related. My upcoming early chapter book is a mystery. Next fall, I have a contemporary fantasy novel coming out and a humorous picture book the year after that.

I feel pretty spoiled that I get flex my writing muscles in so many different ways. I don’t rule out ever writing an adult book but for now I love the challenge and diversity of children’s writing.

What was your path to publication like?

Like many writers, my path to publication was paved with lots and lots of rejections.

For the first few years of writing, I tried writing a lot of different things—picture books, chapter books, non-fiction and my first novel. I started querying in 2006 about six months after I joined my writers’ critique group. Then, the rejections started piling in as I submitted book after book to as many open publishing houses as I could find. Being part of a writers’ group really helped because I quickly learned that rejections were normal and expected. That definitely helped cushion the blow.

Finally, in February of 2008, the children’s editor at Nimbus contacted me. She was going through old submissions and wondered if Acadian Star was still available. The only problem was—the ending needed a lot of work. Lucky for me, I had revised that manuscript quite a bit since I’d originally submitted it in 2006 so I sent the new version along. Shortly after that, Acadian Star was accepted and published six months later.

Your first middle grade novel, Acadian Star, is told from the perspective of a young girl, Meg Gallant. In the spring of 2010, the first volume of Red Dune Adventures: Keep Out! will be released. In that book the protagonists are boys. What would you say is the difference between a girl’s and boy’s voice? Which was easier for you to write?

I think being a writer is a lot like being an actor in many ways. Whether I’m writing from a girl or boy perspective, I need to understand my character’s motivations, wants and needs before I can step into that role. It’s true that writing from a female perspective is more familiar to me but I also love exploring the maleness of a character. So, for me, male characters are more challenging but that’s also part of the fun.

What inspired you to write Acadian Star? You share Acadian ancestors with Meg Gallant. Did you have a similar experience of getting to know your family’s past in your childhood?

Acadian Star grew from wanting to tell my daughters a story about the Acadian Deportation. The ‘Acadian Star’ talent competition in the novel is an actual competition my mom judged during my hometown’s Acadian Festival. Meg’s aunt, Tante Perle, is based on my own great aunt, Tante Marguerite. She also lived in a tiny seaside shack by the sea and was a master story teller.

All those elements came together as I imagined what it would be like for a modern Acadian girl like Meg to be placed in the time of the Acadian Deportation back in the 1700’s. I wondered what choices Meg would make and how different or similar she might be from a girl her age of that era.

My Tante Marguerite has long since passed away but I still remember visiting her in that seaside shack when I was a girl. She was eccentric, frightening and interesting all at the same time and I think she would have enjoyed starring in her own time-travel adventure.

In Acadian Star the lesson of the importance of our family history is told through an adventurous, suspenseful story. The narrative never slips into a didactic voice, yet the message comes across clearly. What’s your view of the dilemma of whether children’s and young adult literature should also educate and not only entertain?

I think readers want great stories they can identify with, first and foremost. I know I do. In Acadian Star, the backdrop of the story happens to be the Acadian Deportation because it was a time in history I really wanted to learn about and share with my daughters.

My main goal in telling this story, though, was to entertain my reader by putting my character in an unlikely situation and giving her big choices to make.

In your blog, you write a lot about the ‘rules’ you stick to during writing, all the technicalities of writing. But how do you start a book? Where do you get your inspiration? Do you first come up with a plot or characters?

Characters always come first for me because if I’m going to spend a couple of hundred hours with someone, it better be with someone I find interesting. Then, I try to begin my stories by putting those characters in very precarious situations. That’s when the fun begins.

Initial plot ideas can come from anywhere but putting those ideas into action is a very physical task. It requires sitting down, being present and putting one word in front of another. Many times, I’ll have a sense of my beginning and a vague idea of my ending, but the process of writing is where new ideas spring up. Those surprising twists can’t be planned in advance and they’re the exciting part of writing for me.

You’re not only a writer, but also a painter. Would you say that observation skills one develops as a painter help you with your writing, for example with the descriptions of nature, imagery etc?

Painting and storytelling are very similar. You start with a sketch, layer your story or painting with different textures and colours and, hopefully, the combination of those elements work together in a compelling way. Writing encompasses a lot more senses than painting, though, and I tend to rely a bit too much on visuals as I’m writing. I often have to remind myself to explore the other senses as well. I talk a little about writing, reading and art in a podcast for Just One More Book .

What are your favorite books to read, any particular genre or author, someone who influenced your own writing? Which books are you reading at the moment?

All time favourites of mine include Madeline L’Engle, Kate DiCamillo, Louis Sachar, Katherine Paterson and Tim Wynne-Jones. I’m really an equal opportunity reader and enjoy many different genres.

In the past month or so I’ve read The Hunger Games/Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins, The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman and I’ve finally (!) started the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling (I’m on book 4) though I’ve been listening to those on my MP3.

You’re busy writing, revising and talking to kids in schools and libraries. What is your favorite way to relax and restore your energy for new writing endeavors? What do you do outside the world of books?

I’m an avid walker and try to get out about 4-5 times a week. I often walk while listening to talking books and find it’s a great way to get more ‘reading’ time in. I think exercise is a really important way for me to reset my inner clock.

I’m also a busy mom and think that having kids around really recharges my batteries and fuels my writing. I think kids are the neatest people. They just don’t have the filters adults have and they can see things in such an uncluttered, wise way.

My daughters constantly crack me up, make me think, and force me to reconsider how I see the world every day—much in the same way great books do!

Books:

ACADIAN STAR (Nimbus, 2008)

Upcoming:

KEEP OUT! (Nimbus, 2010)
REAL MERMAIDS DON’T WEAR TOE RINGS (Jabberwocky, 2010)
WATER HAZARD! (Nimbus, 2011)
I DARE YOU NOT TO YAWN (Candlewick, 2011)

www.heleneboudreau.com

Brigita Pavshich lives in Slovenia where she works as a literary translator. Some of her recent and forthcoming publications include short stories and poems at All Things Girl, Autumn Sky Poetry, Static Movement, Your Messages, an anthology by Cinnamon Press and others. She is currently seeking representation for her YA novel. My blog is www.bsoulflowers.blogspot.com.

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Recently, in my role as the treasurer for my church, I attended the fundraising track of a leadership conference. One of the things the speaker, Wayne B. Clark, addressed was how we perceive money and the value we attach to it beyond its actual function. Many buzzwords and catch phrases were tossed about, including the term joyful giving I’m sure there was also other, deeper information, but in truth, I can’t actually remember exactly what was said, because I was reeling from a personal revelation: I had stopped my child from being a joyful giver.

Allow me to explain…

For my son Stuart’s first Christmas, my mother gave him a large ceramic piggy bank that she had hand-painted. Over the years, we’ve tossed our odd change into it, and each week, fifty cents of his allowance goes into this “long term savings account.” After nearly 8 years, that piggy bank has gotten pretty heavy.

Each year, Stuart’s school does a fundraising drive called Common Cents, where the kids bring in whatever spare change they can cadge off their parents and other grown-ups who tend to accumulate change everywhere. He came home from school the day the collection was announced and was really excited. His eyes were wide, bright, and happy because he had a plan - a brilliant plan: “Just wait till you hear, Mom!”

Stuart wanted to donate his entire piggy bank to Common Cents.

“Oh, no, honey! You don’t want to do that! That’s all your savings!” exclaimed his horrified parents.

“Yes, I do,” he said, now faintly bewildered. “It’s my money; I want to give it away.”

We stood firm. We were not about to let him drain his piggy bank that had taken years to fill. He was disappointed that he couldn’t implement his brilliant plan.

And that bright, happy light in his eyes went away.

Of course, we weren’t completelyheartless. We let him empty the piggy bank to sort out the pesky little pennies that nobody really wants and use those for his Common Cents donation. As a bonus, that would free up more room for the quarters, nickels, and dimes, we told him. We even helped him sort it all out and put the “important” change back into the piggy bank.

He was suitably mollified and we patted ourselves on the back for being good parents. After all, we were teaching our child the value of money and fiscal responsibility. We had certainly saved him from certain financial ruin at the tender age of 8. (You have to teach them early, you know.)

Over the course of the week, we found an old cache of pennies in a plastic bottle and magnanimously allowed those to go off to school, as well. We even expended a bit of energy locating a few piles of loose change here and there around the house and let him have those, too. What good parents we were! We told him “no” but found a suitable compromise. Everyone was happy! End of story about how Parents Know Best and Children Don’t Know The First Thing About Money.

Except…

Something about our decision from the Parental Heights Of Knowledge And Experience had niggled at my conscience ever since.

I wasn’t sure why, really. After all, he was only 8, for pity’s sake. He couldn’t really understand what giving away all that change meant. I mean, it was all just change, but it was a lot of change. And besides, we are teaching him good stewardship: he donates to our church Building Fund from his allowance, and he knows we also donate to our church, and public radio and public television, and stuff like that. (By the way, remind me to show you my collection of National Public Radio coffee mugs!) Bottom line: we are the grown-ups. We know best. We have Plans for that piggy bank. That change adds up, you know. It’s going to fund his college education. And buy his first car. And make the down-payment on his first house….

Riiiiiiiiight.

That conscience-niggle ran smack-dab into the concepts I’d heard being presented in the workshop I mentioned, and resulted in a revelation that attacked the Parental Heights Of Knowledge And Experience with savage brutality.

How, exactly, was our son wrong? It was his money. If he wanted to give it away to a charity, why shouldn’t he? What a beautiful thing for a child to do! Give away all his money! What a little angel! (Parental remorse tends toward the dramatic.)

The next morning, on the way to school, I asked my son if he knew why we told him he couldn’t take all his piggy bank money and give it to Common Cents.

“No,” he said. He didn’t elaborate either. Such a telling silence.

“Well, let me ask you this: Why did you want to give all that money to Common Cents?” I was doing some verbal tap-dancing for time here, trying to figure out how to tell my kid that we were horrid, selfish, evil people and so totally wrong for not letting him squander his piggy-bank on some charity.

“So my class would win the contest and win a pizza party.” His tone implied that I had asked a very silly question and should have known he had a perfectly good reason.

That’s when I had my second revelation: My son AND his parents were right.

He wanted to give away his money, and that was a good thing. He had extra, there was a need and he could help. Moreover, he had absolutely no qualms about it - he had no attachment whatsoever to that money.

But we were right too (if only by default), because his primary motivation was the expectation of a reward for his gift. Since I was on the verge of confessing that his parents were horrid, evil, selfish people, I grasped that straw as only a parent desperate for the salvation of parental wisdom can do.

“Honey, that’s not a really good reason for giving, you know?” Not surprisingly, I got a puzzled look in response. To an 8 year-old, a pizza party is a darn good reason.

“Stuart, when we give money - or anything else - we give because we can. Because we have more than we need and we are lucky to be able to share. I’m so happy you wanted to share your piggy bank. It makes me feel really good to know that your spirit is so generous.”

He nodded. I know he wasn’t sure where I was going, and I wasn’t completely certain I did either. I had leapt off The Cliff of Parental Uncertainty, aiming at The Pool of Wise Parental Answers (it’s surprisingly small), and was depending on it not being closed for repairs at the moment.

“You school does Common Cents again in the Spring, doesn’t it?”

Another nod.

SPLASH!

“How does this sound: When your piggy bank is too full to take another dime, we’ll let you decide what to do with the money. Because you are absolutely right: It’s yours. Until then, how about, from now on, you start putting some more of your allowance aside each week? You can put it in a special jar just for Common Cents, and, when it’s time in the Spring, you’ll have it ready to go.”

“Excellent!” (pause) “But, mom! What if the jar isn’t big enough to hold it all?”

“No worries, kid. We can find another jar.”

Kimberlyn Crowe lives in the Oak Cliff community of Dallas Texas with her husband, son and two cats, Frick & Frack. She masquerades as a call center tech support agent by day and is hopelessly addicted to knitting. She has red hair, blue eyes and says everything else (husband and child excepted) is subject to change.

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Lisa, thanks so much for talking with us today. Before we start, I have to ask - I’ve heard that you and your husband are expecting your first child. Is that information for public consumption?
It’s true, and yes, we’ve made it public.

Congratulations! When are you due?
Thank you. I’m due in winter. We’re keeping the date vague.

I’ve been following your Twitter feed for - it seems like forever now - and one of the things I’m struck by is the frequency that food is mentioned in your tweets. Is food a thing for you?
Food is a big thing for me. It’s creative, and fun, but it’s also about nutrition. I love food, but I also try to balance the things I love with making healthy choices. It’s important to enjoy what you’re eating, and have delicious things that are also nutritious.

In addition to what you’re eating when you tweet, you’ve also been sharing recipes. Tell me a bit about the fennel salad recipe you posted this morning?
It’s called “Dan’s Salad” because I was at my friend Dan’s beach house when I was introduced to it. I liked the flavor combination, and the fennel - it’s this licorice flavor, but it’s also crunchy like celery - and the recipe is simple.

Did you choose this recipe because of the fennel, or because it was easy to condense into Twitter’s 140-character allotment? And are the recipes going to continue?
When it comes to the recipes…my plan was to post a total of fifty.

“It’s important to enjoy what you’re eating, and have delicious things that are also nutritious.”

I was doing them every day, but then I realized I was spending so much time, avoiding other work, because I was spending time figuring out which recipes vary in complexity.

With the fennel - I assume most people know their own tastes, but it was an easy recipe. I’m still planning to do fifty, but not on a regular schedule.

Are they all your own recipes?
Some are mine, some are inspired by people I know, or sent to me, or are other people’s variations on a familiar flavor.

Even when you’re not talking about food, you’re pretty active on Twitter. You already have an extensive website that includes a blog. What made you choose social media as a method of communication?
As a musician, it made sense to branch out. Twitter is a way for me to connect with friends - twitter friends, fan-friends - but still keep the line between public and private.

It’s also a way to learn about things that interest me. I use it to find other bands, or find out what kind of interesting eye-ware is out there.

Let’s talk about eye-ware for a moment. You’re known for those cat-eye glasses, but now you’re designing your own line?

Yes. It will be called Lisa Loeb Eye-ware, and it will be launching in San Diego.

What was the inspiration for it?
I often hear from fans that they want glasses like mine - the dark plastic, cat-eye frames, and I want to create a line that has options for when I want to wear something different. Sometimes I want to wear brown tortoiseshell, or just have colors that are fun.
Some people don’t do well with that sexy librarian look, but I think everyone wants glasses that suit them, that are stylish, but not so stylish they wear you.

Will they be available only in San Diego, or online, or…?
They’re real glasses, so they’ll be available first in Optometrist’s offices, and I’m hoping at some point they’ll be available online as well.

“I think everyone wants glasses that suit them, that are stylish, but not so stylish they wear you.”

How do you choose your frames? Do you have any advice on how people should choose their eye-ware?
You should always bring someone with you, who can look at you and tell you the truth about whether a pair of glasses suits you. For me, if I can’t bring someone, I always bring a camera, because when you try on glasses there’s no correction - no prescription in the lens, and I have to see them.

So I bring a camera and snap a picture, or have the technician snap one. I use those little Japanese digital cameras where you can see the picture immediately, and then I know how something will really look on my face.

Check back on December 1st for part 2 of our interview with Lisa Loeb. In the meantime, be sure to check out Lisa’s website: Lisa Loeb.com.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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Chaske didn’t howl at the moon or flash fang, but he did sit down with us to chat for a few minutes.

Tell us about your background and training as an entertainment professional.

I studied acting with David Giddion and Ed Koven when I moved to NYC and I think I’ve learned a lot just from observation and life experience.

You are a Sioux Indian. How do you honor / remain true to your heritage in the modern world?

I remain close to my family and friends back home to keep connected.

How did you feel about moving into the world of Twilight / New Moon? Becoming “the guy” on teenage fan’s walls? Is it exciting? Scary?

It’s exciting! And a little scary (laughs). You never know what tomorrow will bring.

What is your personal Motto / Mission Statement?

I don’t have a motto but I do believe this: Enjoy your life. Tell the truth and be thankful for every day that you are given. Enjoy every moment.

What does the future hold? What projects are you working on? What types of projects are you hoping for as your career advances?

I am taking on the role of a producer with my production company Urban Dreams- we have two projects in development that I am planning to star in.

I’m also very active in the non-profit world - helping any way I can.

You can see Chaske in the next installment of the Twilight saga, New Moon, when it opens in wide release later this month.

Deb Smouse is the Editor in Chief at All Things Girl.

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As young women we hope that we never have to make this plea to our partners in life. We want a partner that instinctively believes in us supports our dreams, as we do for them.

Yet, even if we are fortunate enough to be surrounded by those who love and bolster us, all of the faith in the world is not enough if we do not, first, believe in ourselves.

I’ll admit it: This isn’t just of passing interest to me. It’s a real issue. One that has, at times, been crippling. Need a cheerleader in your life? Someone to encourage you to follow your dreams and support you through the tough times? I’m your girl. So, why is it so difficult for me to do the same for myself?

Why do I listen to that pathetic little voice from deep within? The one that whispers, ‘You can’t’ ‘You shouldn’t’ ‘You’re not good enough’ ‘No-one else will care.’ I guess it’s because it is so much easier to believe the negative things about myself. That way if things don’t work out I’ve already half-expected as much. I have given myself permission to fail.

The collective experiences of our lives shape us so profoundly. Every relationship teaches us something about ourselves. Every memory is a reflection of the events that have shaped our view of the world and of ourselves.

“Each of us deserves to be surrounded by people who love and champion us.”

Many of the experiences that shape who we are were not of our choosing. Yet, at some point in our lives the ‘reasons’ that we lack confidence, sabotage our own success, or sell ourselves short, are really just excuses. Nothing more. It is up to us to take the steps to move forward with our lives. We must choose to believe the good things about ourselves. To see the potential that others see in us.

Each of us deserves to be surrounded by people who love and champion us. However, that conviction must first begin within. Our past experiences may make it difficult for us to muster faith and confidence in our abilities. But difficult isn’t impossible. Having faith in ourselves is a choice we must make. A practice that can be learned.

As I move toward the next milestone in my life - turning 40 - I learn more about myself everyday. Or maybe I am finally in a place to receive the lessons of my collective experiences. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to stop raining on my parade and have more faith in myself and my abilities. As I press toward my fortieth birthday in just a few months I will try to tick as many more things off my “To Do” list as I can. The thing I will be most proud of is gaining the strength and confidence that comes from having faith in myself. With such confidence and the renewed effort that emanates from inner strength and faith I know that I can achieve my goals.

Roxanne Samara is a freelance writer and entrepreneur with a variety of interests and enterprises. Her non-fiction and fiction work celebrates the triumphant spirit of women on a journey of self-discovery.

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Quick! You’re walking in to a meet and greet for the new management team. The six new leaders on your team are standing around the room engaged in conversation with other invitees such as yourself.

Do you:

A. Hover around the snack table hoping no one notices
B. Find one of your work buddies and become his shadow
C. Walk up to the first person you don’t recognize, tap her on the shoulder and introduce yourself
D. Turn right around and go back to your desk
E. None of the above

There are many situations in the workplace where you may be called upon to make casual conversation with people you may not know or only know in passing. They don’t have to be superiors sizing you up for your next project. Maybe it’s the holiday party. Maybe your new project team from Denver is flying in to meet with you in person. Whatever the case may be, whenever meeting people in a social situation relating to work, it’s important to make a good impression and not feel like you’re undergoing some sort of weird form of corporate torture.

Have you ever met one of those people who seem to be able to talk to anyone in any situation about any topic? I’ve met such folks (I’m married to one), and it can be difficult to keep up. But something to comfort those of us who weren’t born with the gift of gab is that when you ask them about it, they will admit that they really do have to make an effort to keep things going.

I’ll never forget one of my earlier schmoozing experiences. I was a senior in college and two of my friends and I were invited to a Trustee reception because we were part of a Entrepreneurship class that was offered through the business school. We all wore our best interview suits (mine was a standard navy blue). When we arrived at the door (of course we arrived together), we stood there, mouths agape, staring at the scene. We looked at each other, each taking a deep breath, and proceeded inside. My heart was pounding and I don’t remember much after that. I think we stood around eating cheese and crackers and I might have spoken with one of the older looking professors who seemed to take pity on us and struck up a conversation about how stressful taking final exams can be when you’re also looking for a job after graduation.

Fast forward a few years, and schmoozing is second nature to me now. I actually enjoy it, something I never thought possible. But this comfort with schmoozing situations didn’t develop overnight. Like anything else, it took practice and the will to succeed.

Below are some tips garnered from my experiences. Some of these may work for you. Some may sound downright silly. My aim is to give you at least one good idea for helping you get closer to mastering the art of the schmooze.

“One of the tricks to schmoozing is putting people at ease. People enjoy talking about topics with which they are familiar. Just be careful not to overdo your research or you’ll come off looking like a stalker.”

Do your research

If you have advance notice that you’ll be called on to schmooze, do your homework. Who’s going to be there? What do they do? What are their interests outside work? What’s something they’ve worked on that you might be able to get them talking about? One of the tricks to schmoozing is putting people at ease. People enjoy talking about topics with which they are familiar. Just be careful not to overdo your research or you’ll come off looking like a stalker.

Dress to impress

Put a little more effort than the norm to look particularly pulled together the day you are called on to schmooze. How you look is one of the many inputs people use when they are making an impression of you, so it’s important. Don’t go overboard because people aren’t positively impressed by someone who looks like they are trying too hard.

Arrive with warm-up questions

I’ve always disliked those ice-breaker activities they do in groups to force people to get to know one another. Take as many squares of toilet paper as you’ll need and pass it on. Take as many M&M’s that you’d like but don’t eat them. Okay, now tell us one thing about yourself for each square/M&M. Stab me in the eye. Yes, I only need one square. No, I’m not hungry, but thanks anyway.

But there’s something valuable to learn from those annoying ice-breakers. People disclose as little about themselves as possible for the first couple of facts and then they start to expand from the standard first name, last name, hometown listing and move into topics like pet’s name, favorite job, birthday, and favorite food. It’s just the nature of human beings to need some time to warm up before start sharing the stuff that makes them more interested in the conversation.

I mastered warm-up questions when I went through sorority rush in college. I had my standard list of questions and fell back on them if there was an awkward silence.
Inevitably, I’d uncover something that would provoke new questions or that would, at the very least, help the person in front of me feel like they were interesting and engaged in the conversation.

Good examples of warm-up questions: Where are you from? What do you like to do in your free time? Seen any good movies lately?

Bad examples of warm-up questions: Do you like my shoes? What time is it? Where’s the bar?

“People want to be around others who look like they are having a good time, exhibit a sense of humor, and who appear as if they’ll have interesting things to say. A smile conveys all those things and also helps you feel calmer and more confident.”

Master the casual smile

When you arrive, and as you converse with everyone, if you’re not talking you should be smiling. Don’t look like you are trying too hard to smile because people will think you’re fake. The easiest way I can think of to get you to smile the right way is to remind yourself of how you smile when you’re with a friend and you both are mildly amused by an inside joke but you can’t bust out laughing. The smile part will become easier when you gain more confidence in your schmoozing abilities.

People want to be around others who look like they are having a good time, exhibit a sense of humor, and who appear as if they’ll have interesting things to say. A smile conveys all those things and also helps you feel calmer and more confident.

Don’t forget the essentials

Even if you have the most brilliant, witty things to say, if you can’t get some basics right, your chances of making a good impression are pretty slim. Show up on time. If there are name tags write yours legibly and place it on your right side halfway between your breast and top of your shoulder. This is so that when you shake someone’s hand they see your name and have a better chance of remembering it. Speaking of the handshake, make sure that yours is firm and of proper duration. Nothing’s worse than a weak or overly heavy handshake. Don’t interrupt but do make your opinions known. Don’t be checking your iPhone or texting your significant other.

Keep your head in the game

Remind yourself that almost everyone in that room feels, at the very minimum, mild apprehension about schmoozing too. Most people are relieved when someone asks them a warm-up question or – even better – asks them about their pet project or favorite sports team. You belong there just as much as everyone else, so act as if you are accepted, and you will be.

So the answer to the pop quiz is E. Don’t waste precious schmoozing time at the snack table. Take the initiative to start conversations on your own. Mind the essentials. And most importantly: get out there and schmooze!

Elia Sheldon is a working mother of two daughters who lives in Chatham, NJ and manages large scale programs for a Fortune 50 company. She enjoys time with her family, working on her novel, and attending hot yoga classes. Her column focuses on providing ideas, thoughts, and advice to help demystify the corporate jungle and achieve better work life balance. Need advice? Send questions to: elia@eliasheldon.com.

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The great American food holiday. Is there any other meal with so much pressure attached? Is there any other meal that carries such terror of food catastrophes? Not for me, I mean, but for other people. I never make mistakes.

I wish.

“Pour yourself another glass of wine and remind yourself that someday you’ll think it’s funny.”

Seriously, though, cooking disasters are a part of life. When something goes wrong on Thanksgiving – you forget to thaw the turkey, or you burn the stuffing (I’ve done both) – you might feel like it’s the end of the world. I’m here to tell you that it really does happen to everyone. Pour yourself another glass of wine and remind yourself that someday you’ll think it’s funny.

Last year we planned to set up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving, and my husband requested homemade hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps and homemade marshmallows. I’d never made marshmallows before, but I’d seen people do it on TV. No problem, right?

So, when you make marshmallows, you’re supposed to soften up some gelatin, bring sugar to a boil with corn syrup and water, get it to 240 degrees (as my recipe claimed, though this turned out to be an evil lie), and then slowly drip the boiling sugar into the gelatin. Turn your mixer on as high as it’ll go (I have a KitchenAid Professional model, so that’s pretty high) and then let it go until the batter whips so high it fills the whole bowl.

Ha.

The batter for my homemade marshmallows never whipped up. It just stuck to the whisk with the texture of sweet vanilla spackle. The marshmallows were fine-ish once they dried overnight: dense instead of light and airy like they should’ve been (and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what went wrong, though I later realized I never got the sugar hot enough). I have never encountered anything so sticky in my life.

It was like wrangling a gigantic lump of chewed bubblegum.

At 1:00am.

The night before Thanksgiving.

It stuck to everything and got everywhere, even on my feet (and I have no idea how it wound up there). It took me over an hour to get the bowl clean. I’m so glad my husband was asleep, because the mess would’ve given him a heart attack. He’d have died, right there and then.

The next afternoon I took a pair of kitchen shears and cut a few marshmallows out of the pan so we could see what they tasted like. Then I set the scissors down on top of the marshmallows still in the pan, forgot about them, and went back to cooking. An hour later, my husband said, “Hey, come look at this!” They had sunk. There was a permanent scissors-shaped indentation on top of the marshmallows. I could only laugh and say, “At least now everyone will know they’re homemade.” The flavor was great, but the texture was like marshmallow jerky. Good thing we were melting them in hot chocolate.

In that spirit, here’s my advice on making sure your Thanksgiving runs as smoothly as possible.

1. Make a schedule. Choose your menu well in advance. Decide what time you’ll eat, spread all your recipes out, and make yourself a schedule so that you’ll know what to do and when, and every dish will be finished at the same time. That way, you’ll never find yourself with two things that have to be in the oven at different temperatures at once, or with five pots that need to cook but only four burners free. You’ll have had all that worked out weeks ahead.

2. Cook as much as you can in advance. Do not start cooking your Thanksgiving dinner Thursday morning. To keep your sanity, remember that you can cook the carrots the day before and reheat them in the microwave right before dinner. Carrots are indestructible that way. Pie can be made a day ahead, and the crust two days ahead. You can assemble your dressing on Wednesday and stick it in the oven to warm through while the turkey is resting. You can cook and mash your potatoes on Thursday morning and reheat them with a little milk in a double boiler right before you serve them. I try to have most of my dinner assembled on Wednesday, so that on Thursday the hard part is over and I have time to relax, catch up with my family and friends, and watch football.

3. Shop ahead of time. Start stocking up on canned goods, flour, sugar, and other nonperishables now. If you spread out the cost of your Thanksgiving ingredients over a few weeks, the meal won’t pinch your wallet as much as if you buy everything in one shopping trip.

4. Be flexible. Last year I had great intentions of making popovers and a cranberry sauce with port and tangerines to go with my Thanksgiving feast, but I just plain ran out of time and energy. (Probably thanks, in no small part, to the Marshmallow Incident keeping me up until 2am.) As my roast came out of the oven and I looked at my hungry guests, I knew that we didn’t need those dishes, and I definitely didn’t feel like cooking them, so I scrapped them at the last minute and nobody was ever the wiser. Yes, you should have a menu and schedule, but don’t be afraid to change it on the fly to fit your circumstances.

5. Let go of your perfectionism. First of all, don’t be a martyr and try to do everything yourself. If people offer to help, let them. If they don’t offer, ask. Second, everyone knows the Norman Rockwell image of the iconic grandmother presenting her beautiful turkey to her picture-perfect, adoring family, and we feel like failures if we don’t have that too. Accept that it’s impossible. Have an honest talk with your family about the holiday traditions everyone loves and hates. Give yourself permission to let go of traditions that don’t work for you. Don’t feel guilt over this, because there’s no reason to fill your celebration up with anything that doesn’t make you and your family happy and relaxed. Use advance planning and others’ help to give yourself the gift of time to have fun and enjoy the people you love most.

I hope you’re all having fun gearing up for the holidays! And if you need a laugh, tell me about your biggest Thanksgiving cooking mishap. I’m also dying to know: what are you making for Thanksgiving? What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food and why? What’s the dish you don’t care for at all, but have to make anyway because if you didn’t your family would freak out?

The Recipes

I considered writing up some Thanksgiving dishes, but decided that nobody really cares what my family will be eating (though if you really are interested, ask and I’ll tell you). Thanksgiving is a meal that’s more about tradition than taste. People don’t want what I’m cooking; they want what their moms made. I can point you in a few directions, though.

Turkey

It amuses me that I’m recommending a recipe called Perfect Roast Turkey one paragraph after telling you to let go of your perfectionism, but I’m a little bundle of contradictions. Martha Stewart’s Perfect Roast Turkey really is perfect. It’s also extraordinarily fussy and takes forever, and you can get lovely results from much simpler recipes. But if you’re after the Platonic ideal of a Thanksgiving turkey, with guaranteed crispy, flavorful, golden skin and moist, delicious meat, this is the bird you’ve been waiting for.

Pie Crust

I feel like the two things that most stress people out about cooking Thanksgiving dinner are the turkey and the pie crust. Lucky for us, two years ago Cook’s Illustrated cracked the perfect crust. It’s easy, delicious, and works every time. Yes, half the water is swapped out for vodka. It seems weird, but it dampens the dough without forming any gluten, and the resulting crust rolls out as smooth and flexible as Play-Doh. Cracks and tears are things of the past. Use this dough for any pie you make, and bake according to your recipe’s instructions.

(From Cook’s Illustrated, November and December 2007)

2.5 cups (12.5 oz) unbleached all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon table salt
2 tablespoons sugar
12 tablespoons (1.5 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/4” slices and put back into the fridge to stay cold
1/2 cup cold vegetable shortening, cut into 4 pieces and put in the fridge to stay cold
1/4 cup vodka and 1/4 cup water, put in the same measuring cup together and stuck in the freezer until cold (don’t worry, it won’t freeze)

Process 1.5 cups flour, salt, and sugar in a food processor until combined. Add the butter and shortening and pulse until it starts to look like homogenous dough, about 15 seconds. You don’t want any uncoated flour. Scrape the bowl down, distribute the dough evenly around the blade, sprinkle over the last cup of flour, and pulse until the dough is evenly distributed around the bowl again, 4-6 quick pulses. Empty the dough into a big bowl.
Sprinkle the vodka and water over the dough, and use your clean hands to fold the dough over itself a few times and mix the liquid in until the dough feels kind of tacky and sticks together. Divide the dough into two even balls and flatten each into a four-inch disk. Wrap the disks in plastic wrap and put them in the fridge for at least 45 minutes before you do anything with them, or up to two days. This whole thing takes about fifteen minutes.

Each dough disk can be the bottom of a 9-inch pie, or you can make one double-crust pie from them. To roll them out easily, sandwich a disk of dough between two big sheets of parchment paper, and then use your rolling pin on top of the paper until the dough is the diameter you want. Peel the top piece of parchment off, invert the dough and second sheet of parchment over your pie pan, then peel the second sheet of parchment off. That way, you won’t need to mess up your counter by dusting it with flour. You’re welcome.

Roasted Squash and Fennel Soup

From Sunday Suppers at Lucques by Suzanne Goin (Knopf)

In November everyone obsesses about the Thanksgiving meal, but there are 29 other days in the month. Here’s a recipe for a complex, delicious squash and fennel soup. It’s one of my favorite comfort dinners, and great for vegetarians too. Just swap out the chicken broth for vegetable. (serves 6)
2 pounds butternut squash. You can buy it already prepped at the store if you want.
2 medium bulbs of fennel (My favorite vegetable!)
Olive oil
2 teaspoons fennel seeds
¼ teaspoon cumin seeds
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
½ cup raw green pumpkin seeds
1 tablespoon sugar
Pinches of cinnamon, paprika, and cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon honey
2 cups yellow onions
1 tablespoon fresh thyme, or 1 teaspoon dried
2 chiles de arbol (if you can’t find them, 1/4-1/2 teaspoon of cayenne should be a good substitute)
1 bay leaf
3/4 cup sherry
10 cups chicken broth
Crème fraiche, for serving

First off, preheat your oven to 400. While you wait for it to come to temp, peel a 2-pound butternut squash (or other hard winter squash, like Hubbard or Kabocha, if you can find them). The easiest way to peel a squash is with a sharp vegetable peeler. Cut the squash in half, scoop the seeds out with a spoon, just like you would with a jack-o-lantern, and cut the squash into 1-inch pieces. This is by far the hardest part of the recipe. You could even make this step easy on yourself and buy the squash pre-peeled and cubed. No shame in that.

Also, take two medium bulbs of fennel. Cut the green tops off, and then split the bulbs in half top to bottom. Cut the cores out, and then cut the fennel into half-inch wedges. Line a cookie sheet that has sides with foil for easy cleanup later, and then dump the fennel wedges and squash cubes on it. Use your hands to toss them all together with four tablespoons of olive oil, a teaspoon of salt, and eight or ten grinds of black pepper. Once everything is nice and coated and your oven is properly heated, put the veggies in for 30-35 minutes. Stir around the 20 minute mark, and take them out once they’re softened and slightly caramelized around the edges.

Here’s how you spend the half hour that your veggies are in the oven. First off, heat a small pan over medium heat for a few minutes and then put 2 teaspoons of fennel seeds in it. Toss them around for two or three minutes, until they turn golden brown and are fragrant. Lightly crush them, either with a mortar and pestle, or you put them in a zip-top bag and mash them with the heel of a pan or a rolling pin. Then, spread them on a small plate to cool.

Next, make the candied pumpkin seeds that will go on top of the soup. Do what you did with the fennel seeds: heat a clean, small pan over medium heat for a few minutes, and then add a quarter teaspoon of cumin seeds until they’ve released their aroma and browned slightly. Get them out of the pan and lightly crush them with a mortar, pan, or rolling pin. In the same pan, over medium heat, melt two teaspoons of unsalted butter. Add half a cup of raw green pumpkin seeds (you can get them at Whole Foods, in the same aisle as the nuts), a tablespoon of sugar, and a pinch each of ground cinnamon, paprika, cayenne pepper, and salt, along with the cumin seeds you toasted and crushed. Toss the whole thing around to cover the seeds with the butter and spices. Kill the heat when the seeds start to pop. Wait 30 seconds, and then drizzle a teaspoon of honey over the seeds and toss again to make sure everything’s well coated. Spread them on a plate to cool off. These are delicious just to snack on, but they’re also amazing with the soup.

You should still have a little time left, so slice two cups of yellow onion and put a big soup pot on the burner, ready to go. Pull the squash and fennel out of the oven and put it on the counter for a little bit to cool while you start the soup. First off, turn your burner on high and let it heat your pot for two minutes before you even put anything in. Then, add 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter (yeah, this soup is super rich) and when it foams, add the onions, the fennel seeds you toasted and crushed, a tablespoon of fresh thyme leaves, two chiles de arbol (they’re dried, long, thin, and red and, again, you can get them at Whole Foods) a bay leaf, a teaspoon of salt, and a healthy amount of freshly ground black pepper. Turn the heat down to medium high and cook, stirring pretty often, until the onion is nice and soft and starting to turn golden. It’ll probably be around ten minutes, or a little less. Next up, add the roasted squash and fennel, and stir them around for a minute or so to coat them with the onions and spices. Turn the heat back up to high, add three quarters of a cup of sherry, and let that cook down until it’s almost gone. It won’t take long.

Once the sherry is reduced, pour in 10 cups of chicken stock and a teaspoon of salt. Bring the whole thing to a boil, reduce the heat to a simmer, and let it go for about 20 minutes to blend all the flavors. Stir it when you think of it, just to keep everything cooking evenly.

Now it’s time to blend. There’s too much liquid in the soup as it is; you need this much to cook it, but you need to take some out of the finished product or it’ll be too watery. Use a ladle and scoop out 3-4 cups of broth, leaving the solids in the pot. Save the liquid in a bowl or big measuring cup or something, just in case you need to add it back in later. Then, pull out your trusty stick blender (or do this in batches in an actual blender) and whir it up until it’s smooth. It should be thick, but not lumpy. Taste the soup, and if you think it’s too thick, stir some of the liquid back in to thin it.

And that’s all there is to it! Serve it up in bowls, garnished with a dollop of cooling creme fraiche and sprinkled with the sweet, spicy pumpkin seeds. The flavor here is so rich and complex, but mellow and soothing, and it’s perfect with a nice chardonnay. You won’t be sorry.

Megan Homan is an event planner for a Boston-area non-profit. In her free time, she can be found pursuing new challenges not only in restaurants around Boston, but also in her own kitchen.

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Last month, I spent eight days on the east coast, first at my aunt’s wedding, which occurred in a rambling old, cold summer house in Amagansett, NY, and then in and around a small fishing village in New Jersey, which was once mainly populated by summer folk as well, though now most of the homes are occupied year-round.

“the melodies that mattered were those created as we sipped endless cups of coffee, nibbled on a broad array of desserts, and chattered into the wee hours of the morning”

In both places, while there was singing to be heard, and various forms of recorded music as well, the melodies that mattered were those created as we sipped endless cups of coffee, nibbled on a broad array of desserts (including crumb cake), and chattered into the wee hours of the morning, picking up threads of conversations that had been dropped decades before, or simply starting new ones.

In an Italian-American family, all the good stuff happens after dinner, when the food has been cleared away, and dessert has largely dwindled to a few crumbs. As a child, I would have been sent to bed before any of the really dishy conversation, but I have fond memories of hunkering down on the red-carpeted steps of my grandmother’s house, hiding behind the tall hutch that was set against the staircase, listening to the mix of English spoken in a New Jersey Neopolitan accent and Italian uttered in short phrases and single words, that nevertheless managed to convey images of sunny hillsides, deep red wine, and round, ripe tomatoes.

I remember my grandfather’s voice, belting from the diaphragm as he told a story, or corrected someone else’s version of a tale, or merely laughed. I remember my grandmother referring to my older cousins, as well as my mother and her siblings, as scooch (pest) or scocciamento (pain in the ass - pr. scooch-a-mende), or merely referring to someone as a “miserable wretch.” I remember laughter, always laughter, even on the saddest days. The concept of laughter through tears might have been mentioned in the movie Steel Magnolias, but Italian-American women live it on a daily basis.

“if you put her at the kitchen table and hand her a cup of coffee, she’ll instantly be bright-eyed, alert, and ready to trade memory for memory”

As I grew older, I was allowed to have a seat at the after-dinner table - to play my part in the “Coffee Klatsch Cantata,” as it were. I remember rousing games of Canasta and Scrabble, and I also remember hearing stories about relatives who often were only names to me, or faces in faded photographs.

Being back in New Jersey wasn’t just visiting, it was, in many senses, going home. My grandparents may no longer be on this Earth, but my great-aunt Molly is ninety-nine and a half years old, and still remembers every story, every relative, every connection. Sure, she can’t walk any more, but she still smells of Taboo perfume and rice pudding, is always impeccably dressed, and if she falls asleep in her easy chair listening to the Italian-language news on TV that’s okay, because if you put her at the kitchen table and hand her a cup of coffee, she’ll instantly be bright-eyed, alert, and ready to trade memory for memory until the last crumb of cake is gone, and the percolator has grown cold.

As much as the folk music and show tunes I still sing, this is the music I grew up with. The harmonies made not by strings and percussion, but by the rise and fall of voices in conversation while food is being shared around a kitchen table.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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Mr. Wendt recently wrote his first book, Drinking with George: A Barstool Professional’s Guide to Beer, a wonderful book that’s part memoir, part ode to beer, and entirely funny.

He graciously gave up the better part of an evening to chat with us about his work, his life, and his book.

What was the impetus for writing your book?
Well, as I say in the book (you’ve read it, so now you know all my tricks), but, beer has been very, very good to me over the years and I decided it was finally time to give something back.

I could have written a poem, or something, but it would have sucked. I could have done a song, maybe - I could have rapped something - but I thought I’d write the book.

Your Irish-Catholic upbringing is a major theme of the memoir thread of this book.
Yes. Jesuits and beer.

One of the things I really enjoyed about your book was that you filled it with interesting information - everything from the history of beer, to uses for beer, to three pages of different ways to say you’ve had too much beer. Was there research required, or is this all information you’ve gleaned over the years?
We sort of cheated, and looked out on the Internet for some of the factoids and research. So there was a bit of that. Kind of like my term papers.

(pause)

I have to - I feel so bad. I just came from, I was just down at the bank, and I was driving home, and some guy tried some really aggressive driving move, and I kind of got angry, and I gave him the old “fuck you,” and I’ve just got to say, to anybody I’ve ever done that to… I’m really sorry. I hate that.

I think things like that are somehow worse when you’ve experienced them from the other side, and you realize how awful that can be.
Yes. But also, the guy was totally wrong, and I was totally right, and but I should have just gone, “Mm-mm. Not today.” But instead I went, “FUCK YOU!”

if you stick to the fundamentals, once you’re up on stage with other people and their ideas, then you can just kind of roll with it, and then - then you’re not thinking, see? Then you’re just improvising from somewhere else

Did it help? Was it at least satisfying?
Mmm. It was satisfying to thwart his pushy aggressive move, but I felt kind of yucky for having topped it with a “fuck you.”
Also, then that guy drives off and goes, “Jeez, the ‘Norm’ guy just said, ‘fuck you’.” And we were pretty much face to face, so he…I mean we didn’t get out of the car or anything, but our cars were close.

And at least it wasn’t Jack Nicholson with a seven-iron.

Anyway, I’m sorry. Back to your questions. . . I just wanted to get that off my chest, like a father-confessor.

Bless you my child.
(laughter)Thank you, Sister. What’s my penance?

Light beer for a week.
Light beer? No! (George utters a comical strangled scream).

Seriously, you apologized. I think that’s good enough. Back to the book. I have to admit - I’m never nervous about these, but I’m actually nervous about talking to you because I read all about your improv background.
Oh, don’t be. I was the worst improviser of all time. Really. Seriously. All of my friends from Second City, and Improv Olympics - they’re like amazing, and my wife still improvises quite a bit with all of our pals - and I can’t go there. I just…I sucked when I was at Second City and I sucked now.

Really?

Yeah! I’m just…I’m too self conscious, or something. I don’t know. I mean, eventually you have to come up with your own material, as I mentioned in the book, and I would just stare at these suggestions and my mind…Nothing. I’m just not built that way.

But, the good news is, if you stick to the fundamentals, once you’re up on stage with other people and their ideas, then you can just kind of roll with it, and then - then you’re not thinking, see? Then you’re just improvising from somewhere else - your creative center or the collective unconscious or those kind of touchy-feely notions of improv.

So, I can roll on that basis, but I’m not Mr. Quick Wit, by any means.

I’m guessing you don’t miss it, then. That you prefer scripted work?
Oh, yeah. I much prefer scripted work.

Which leads us back to theatre. I know you did 12 Angry men - you were here in Dallas with it on tour - a couple of years ago, and then you did Hairspray…

Oh, I went right out of 12 Angry Men into a dress and high heels. It was one of those great “actor” moments. It was like “Wow, what a career.” And, not “what a career” like I’m fabulous, but like, “wow, what a crazy 180 this is.”

It’s kind of surreal.
Yeah.

Did you enjoy playing that part (Edna in Hairspray)?
What, Hairspray?!? Oh, my God, it was so much fun. It was really just an amazing piece.

I don’t know if you ever saw it on stage - it’s just a real crowd-pleaser. It’s just hilarious, and great songs, and it was really cool. And I felt like such a jock, dancing eight shows a week. I really - I’m not a big dancer. Surprise, surprise.

And it’s a very physical part.
Yeah! There’s like - Edna is involved in seven song-and-dance numbers.

Are you going to do more theatre, any time soon?
Yes, I am, and I’m not quite sure which I’m gonna do, but there are three possibilities for this fall. One of them just came about five minutes ago, so I’m like whaaaaa? So, anyway, we’ll see which one I do.

Obviously you’re best known for playing Norm on Cheers. Do people expect you to be like that character - to be funny on command, or to go have a beer with them?

Well, they expect me to enjoy beer, and generally when they run into me, it’s usually in a bar, or something. But yeah, I suppose they expect me to be a little funnier than I am. That’s natural enough.

Does it bother you, or are you just used to it?
It doesn’t bother me. As I mention in the book, the biggest difference between Norm and myself is that Norm had way better writers. If all barflies had award-winning, awesome comedy writers supplying their patter, it’d be a very different scene.

I can imagine. Let’s revisit your book. One of the sections that made me laugh was the part about how to hook women on beer. I knew about shampoo, but I’d never heard of the pedicure thing [using beer as a foot soak] before. Did your wife help test any of these things?

The pedicure thing. (laughs) Once again, that was a research item. And with regard to my wife…um, no. I have given her a pedicure but with beer - nope, sorry.

I also really liked the structure of the book, with your memoir serving as a connective theme, and then all the beer stuff running through it.
Thank you. I pretty much figured whenever anybody had anything bad to say about the book, I would say, “That? Oh, that was Grotenstein. Oh, that part? Yeah, that was all Jonathan.” But really in truth he [Jonathan Grotenstein] put the structure together and he did a great job.

Was the writing process a good thing? Was it more you, or more him?
Well all of the stories are…are me, and we’d just sit around, and he’d ask random questions, and I’d answer them, and we’d go off into digressions. We sat around with some old friends of mine, and of course, my wife Bernadette, and there’d be…people would remind me of other things.

Jonathon sort of pulled it all together, and - apart from the beer trivia - it wound up being more or less chronological, starting with my first sip of beer, and on into the teenage years, and college, et cetera, and Second City, and Cheers and beyond… But I never really meant for it to read like a memoir.

I guess, de facto, it’s sort of a memoir, but I really meant for it to be a beer humor book, just exploring some funny stories that relate to my relationship with beer.

…the biggest difference between Norm and myself is that Norm had way better writers.

Personally, I would describe it as a love story for beer.
Ahh, very good. Next there will be a love song.

Though actually, I was playing around and - in the book there’s a poem about Ninkasi, to Ninkasi - the Goddess of Beer - I just did, yesterday and today, the audio version of the book - and I couldn’t stop laughing at that crazy poem, which I insisted be in the book. And I was thinking, “Should we have some Barry White music underneath it?”

Tell me a bit more about recording the audio book. Was it different reading your own stuff than it would have been if you’d been recording someone else’s material? Did you treat it like any other acting role?
It was pretty much my stories, and I sort of wished I could tell them the way I’m used to telling them, but they’ve got a bit more verbiage. I would have taken some short cuts.

But, I mean, yeah, it was a job, but I would crack myself up with some of the stuff. And I’d go, “No, I don’t believe I wrote that.”

One of our readers wants to know if - and this person feels there should be a “Norm” movie, by the way - wants to know if we’ll be seeing you in television or in the movies any time soon?
I seem to have been kicked out of television. I think I overstayed my welcome, or something. But…I’d certainly like to get back into TV, but I really hope that it wouldn’t be “kiddie” TV. And everything’s sort of “reality” now, so that’s weird, but there’s always the chance that somebody thinks, instead of, “Oh, the ‘Norm’ guy? Enh. No, no.” And then maybe someday there’d be some writer who goes, “The ‘Norm’ guy? We could get the ‘Norm’ guy! That’d be awesome!”

And as for movies, I do a lot of indies, but I appear to be well down the list for character actors for the sort of ‘fancy’ studios. But once again, you make an indie that works, and all of a sudden you’re fabulous again.

In the meantime, I’ve got the theatre!

Do you like working in theatre better?
Kind of. Yeah, I like the theatre better as work. I mean, there’s something to be said for variety - you know, do a movie here, a TV show there, but the actual process of rehearsing and performing in theatre is by far the most fun for me.

And you’ve got three possible things you might be doing this fall, that you can’t tell us about?
Yes. Well, one’s in New York, and one’s in LA….

And in the meantime?
And in the meantime, there’s the book!

Drinking with George, by George Wendt, with Jonathon Grotenstein will available from Amazon.com and fine booksellers everywhere later this month. Look for our review of the book in the All Things Girl blog next week.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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To augment her commanding presence, this woman had a penchant for delivering celestial insights completely devoid of social niceties—she liked to watch people wither under her pronouncements—assessments delivered in a fog of patchouli and foreboding. Fortunately she spared me, for the most part, as my best friend was her girl Friday. And girl Friday decided I needed a personal reading and chart drawn by the force of nature herself, as a gift to yours truly. Imagine my ecstasy. Ok, I can’t either.

So, after checking my birth certificate to verify that I was indeed born, on this planet, at a particular time on a particular date, and providing the information to the sage astrologer, I was told to return to her home in a week. During the waiting week, while I imagined she did some conjuring and divining, I also thought about what she’d determine about my life and my future, and whether she’d be as accurate as the Magic 8 ball I consulted as a kid. I loved that Magic 8 ball… Anyway, I hoped she’d reveal some great things in store for me, but I figured that if she discovered my life was ill-fated then she surely was a fraud.

On the day that I was to return the astrologer’s home to learn my destiny, I walked the fifteen minutes up the hill to her house. I rang the bell and, heavy upon the floor, I heard the astrologer descend the stairs inside. Opening the door she fixed me with her gaze, I felt small and conspicuous in her presence—as if she had noticed a spider she wasn’t sure if she would squish or spare.

“I’m sorry,” she said in an unapologetic tone. I looked at her, half-smiling out of confusion, as she continued. “Your life will always be a struggle, you will always be in turmoil—your inner and outer worlds are in opposition.” I hadn’t even stepped through the doorway. I smiled a bit wider—she was kidding, right? I mean, talk about bedside manner. I was grateful she was only giving me my astrological reading and not performing an appendectomy.

I walked in and followed her to her office upstairs and wondered what else she had in store for me. Did I need to know more? Wasn’t the miserable life pronouncement enough? But I was curious so I sat through the reading, the chart explication, and possibly an exorcism (I can’t quite remember) and when the hour was up I took my chart and the cassette recording of our session and wandered down the street to my house.

At this point, you are likely wondering what this has to do with a poet and a taskmistress. Well, I’ll tell you. You see this little real life parable has been a part of my personal mythology since the day the astrologer told me I was celestially screwed. I have carried this feeling of inner and outer warring factions for nearly twenty years and it has limited my perspective about my life in some ways.

Now, I don’t place much stock in astrology. Sure, horoscopes are fun to read and I do like the mapping of a chart, I’m geeky that way, but it’s not like I believe everything about my sun sign’s profile (I’m a Pisces), but there are some uncanny similarities between me and my sign’s attributes. Pisces is the rose-colored glasses, poet, dreamer, and all-around sensitive sign. Guilty as charged.

And then there’s Capricorn, my moon sign. Capricorn is a take-no-prisoners, ducks-in-a-row kind of sign. The taskmistress to the sensitive poet. I have lived with this dichotomy, which fits beyond the astrological, using it (albeit often subconsciously), as an excuse for why I am so hard on myself—why I am unrelenting in my pursuit of taking care of responsibilities, doing the right thing (whatever that is), and why I work too hard. The poor poet never stood a chance with all this linear line-towing and regimentation. Until recently.

Recently I was discussing this duality with my yoga mentor, likely using it as a reason for why I couldn’t do something or some other lame excuse for not just accepting me as me, when she upended the myth by asking, “Is that true?” and “Do you cling to that for some reason that’s beneficial for you?” Umm, no, it’s not necessarily true and no, it doesn’t benefit me.

Yes, I have a tough taskmistress who relentlessly reminds me—the yogini, the poet, the woman—that she is not good enough. The poet shrinks away and goes back to her cave of contemplation refusing to write for fear of the taskmistress and her judgmental ways. The yogini fears that she is not good enough to be a teacher. And the woman, well she hears many unsavory things. But not anymore. I’m taking this seeming contradiction of influences and using it for good. My good.

Now, when the taskmistress rears her Medusa-like head, the poet, in true Piscean form, swims away in the opposite direction. The yogini just listens and smiles, which only confounds and quiets the taskmistress. We—the taskmistress, the poet, and I—are learning to live in relative harmony and I am learning to channel the taskmistress’ predilection for criticism into fire to stoke the poet’s creativity machine. Astrology be damned, my stars are aligned just right.

Shanna Trenholm Shanna Trenholm is a writer, thinker, budding yoga teacher, and muse-for-hire. She likes to travel—discovering inspiration in the ordinary; magic in the mundane. She lives in San Diego but misses Portland, Paris, and Prague. She thinks there’s a theme there. You can follow her witticisms and sage commentary on twitter: http://twitter.com/shannatrenholm

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Or mine.

Maybe it’s because I was born in mid-August, but to me fall in general, and October specifically, have always seemed to be the beginning of things, and not the end we’re told it is (well, at least in the northern hemisphere). I come alive in fall, mentally, physically. Music excites me more, and the crisp days speak to my soul in ways that upstart spring and languid summer never can.

Halloween has been a favorite of mine since childhood. It’s a day of costumes and candy, to be sure, but it’s also a day of mysteries and memories.

Of course, fall brings the beginning of all the fun holidays. Informal harvest celebrations, Halloween - how I do love Halloween! - Thanksgiving - all are stops along the road to winter, and those cold, wet days when I work near the crackling fire, but they’re loved for themselves as well.

Halloween has been a favorite of mine since childhood. It’s a day of costumes and candy, to be sure, but it’s also a day of mysteries and memories. My grandmother loved to dress up, loved to scare the neighborhood kids. When handing out candy to costumed trick-or-treaters, she would peer into their goody bags, asking, “Let me see what you’ve got. Maybe we can trade.”

They would giggle, of course, not understanding that she was deadly serious. (There was chocolate involved, after all), and she would drop a couple of fun-sized chocolate bars in their bags, and tell them to be careful crossing the street.

Other Halloweens, spent in places far from my grandmother’s suburban New Jersey neighborhood, are in my memory as well:

• Georgetown, Colorado, 1977: the fire department turns their station house into a haunted house, and all the kids in town are invited to end their trick-or-treating there. I remember white tile, and the fire pole, and the best candy apples ever.
• Modesto, California, 1982: The first really elaborate decorating job we do. Ghosts hung from fishline rise whenever the door opens, and my mother’s dress form looks like a headless woman when you peer through the amber-glass in the front windows.
• Fresno, California, 1986: My friend R. hosts a Halloween party, and we play theatre games, using our costumes as inspiration for improv exercises. (Hard to tell we’re all kids from a performing arts magnet, no?).
• San Francisco, California, 1991: My first visit to the Castro at Halloween. I’m a mime, and my friend J. is a bumblebee. For $1, we ride the Super Shuttle to the party gates, where we are blessed by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. We walk back in the wee hours, unafraid of the empty streets - we are twenty-one and feel immortal, and the city hasn’t yet touched us with its darker side. Along the way, we duck into a 24-hour Safeway for cupcakes with orange frosting.
• San Jose, California, 2002: A Halloween housewarming. We’ve been in our new home for almost two months, but saved the party for this weekend on purpose. My mother has flown in, and my friend J. (A different J.) has helped me carve pumpkins. We rate the trick-or-treaters’ costumes and MST-ize the first Harry Potter film. The next year, other friends would host a pumpkin carving party, and we’d spend Halloween touring the Winchester Mystery House by flash-light.
• Grand Prairie, Texas, 2004 and 2008: The first Halloween in our new house, I make sure to buy the good chocolate. It’s important, I tell my husband, to establish ourselves as a “cool” house from the start. It seems to work, as we have never been egged or tp’d. Kids come in droves. The fourth Halloween, I make chili and invite friends to hang out. We dole out over $100 in chocolate and smarties.

My grandmother’s spirit will be close to me, as it always is on Halloween. I will not be surprised if I hear echoes of her voice in my head, and in words other people speak. I will not be alarmed if I catch the faint essence of her favorite perfume.

I’m not certain yet how Halloween 2009 will unfold. I will be handing out candy - I can’t not - and I’ve already dug my light-up Halloween arch out of the garage (if you hit your head on it while approaching my door, you’re too old for trick-or-treating), but I’m getting my hair done that morning, and there’s a fall festival at the church I attend, and several other directions demanding my attention.

Whatever happens, though, I know this: My grandmother’s spirit will be close to me, as it always is on Halloween. I will not be surprised if I hear echoes of her voice in my head, and in words other people speak. I will not be alarmed if I catch the faint essence of her favorite perfume. Late that night, when I am drifting off to sleep, I will not be afraid if I feel the gentle touch of her cool hand upon my forehead.
I’m not entirely certain if ghosts are real, but I’m open to the possibility, especially around Halloween, when the walls between the worlds grow thin, and magic - whether real or imagined - is in the air.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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In addition to Educating Esmé and How to Get Your Child to Love Reading, you’ve also written several children’s books. Was writing children’s literature always part of your plan?

Well, when I wrote Educating Esmé, I ended up talking to a lot of grown-ups, so I figured if I wrote a book for kids, then I could talk to them. Good plan, it worked!

I actually always wanted to write for kids, but I wrote picture books, and it wasn’t until I wrote a novel that I got published. In virtually all of my books, school plays an important part, even in my fantasy, Diary of a Fairy Godmother.

Were you read to as a child? Did you read to your son?

Yes and yes!

Both of my parents read wonderful things to me: my mother shared her favorite fiction from authors like Grace Paley and Raymond Carver, and my father shared Mark Twain, Roald Dahl, and tons of poetry.

Reading is not just a skill, it’s a lifestyle…and a family legacy, for any family who wishes to begin it.

I loved reading aloud to my son from birth, and visits to his second grade class to read every week are treasured memories (thanks, Ms. Cain). Now my son is older and quite sporty and active, but he still loves to read and will sit still for a great story.

Reading is not just a skill, it’s a lifestyle…and a family legacy, for any family who wishes to begin it.

What are some of your favorite children’s books? For that matter, what are some of your favorite books from the adult section of the library or bookstore?

May I cheat and name authors instead of books? I love Beverly Cleary (Ramona the Pest), Bernard Waber (Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile), Jerry Spinelli (Maniac Magee) and Demi (The Empty Pot). Three of my favorite books are A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith and King Matt the First by Janusz Korczak, and The Little Wooden Horse by Ursula Moray Williams, all classic gems that kids nowadays deserve to know.

Adult section? I hardly ever go there. Why would I? I’m a grown-up all day long, I don’t need a book on it. When I do visit, I go for non-fiction. I read the New Yorker and a lot of cookbooks.

What one thing would you advise parents to do, to encourage their children to read?

Read aloud read aloud read aloud, every day, no matter how old they are. And fill your home with books and print. And allow for down-time; don’t overschedule kids, give them a chance to find time for reading and their own imaginations.

And did I mention to read aloud?

You’re an author, a mother, and a frequent guest speaker. How do you balance all the parts of your life?

What’d you say? Balance? Crash-tinkle-tinkle (sound of plate shattering). Ha-ha, I don’t know. I don’t balance anything. I just wake up and thank God I’m a woman in America, with the first thought in my mind being what work I can do in the world. Then I try my best for the rest of the day.

Your “biography for kids” mentions that you kept journals as a child, and obviously you kept one during your first year of teaching. Do you still keep a diary or journal today? Do you keep it on your computer, or is it a product of pen and ink?

I don’t keep one as regularly, but I’ll jot down an entry every month or two, with a pen. Computers are great, but something about writing something secret in a worn and pretty diary or receiving a letter in a mailbox…hard to match.

Everyone needs to decompress once in a while. What do you do when you really need time for yourself?

Don’t overschedule kids, give them a chance to find time for reading and their own imaginations.

Sing really loudly, and poorly (I have patient neighbors), and sometimes my puppets join in. I also like to watch TV. Judge Judy. There, I said it.

Many writers, and other creative types, recommend “artist’s dates” ­ a date with yourself that you spend nurturing your own creativity. Do you take yourself on “artist’s dates?” Do you think school-aged children should be introduced to such things?

Wow, I’ve never been on an “artist date.” If I buy myself dinner, do I have to put out?

My only other concern with such a practice is that it compartmentalizes creative time. Most people better have an artist date at the grocery store or in the shower. I wouldn’t have had time for an artist date when I was a first year teacher. It’s nice work if you can get it, but most artists in history have had to catch as catch can. I think a bigger concern is for people to take time in general in our modern world to slow down and put other things first: friends, family, culture, “down time,” which I think valuing the act of reading helps to facilitate.

One of the things that struck me about Educating Esmé was the poetry scattered throughout. Do you write poetry often, or is it a completely random thing?

I like to write poetry, and I do it when it seems to fit. Formalistically, it’s more challenging to do more with less. It’s like cooking with four ingredients instead of ten.

Other than books and reading, what are you passionate about?

Food. (Could you tell?) I also love supporting new teachers, and I have a lot of interest in gardening, broadcast communications, and collecting dolls and miniatures.

You mentioned an internal soundtrack in Educating Esmé, and your bio mentions that your husband is a musician as well as an artist. What tunes are coming from your iPod when you work?

Frankly, when I write, music that has words in it is distracting, so it would be something jazzy and instrumental like a Bill Evans album or the George Shearing Quintet, or opera, since I don’t know what they’re saying. But let’s see, some random songs from my Ipod shuffle: “I’ll be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground, “Give It To Me” by Timbaland, “Be Blessed” by Yolanda Adams, and “Getting to Know You” by Rogers and Hammerstein. I will have a full playlist on my new teacher website, so come visit.

What’s next for you? Another children’s book, or something else?

I’m excited, I do have some picture books coming down the pike.

I am back at school full time right now, this time as a student of library science, but when I complete the program I will be focusing on creating unique events and opportunities through my children’s literary salon in Chicago.

I also am exploring podcasting; I have always wanted to do a read-aloud radio show, my dream is to read the children of Chicago to sleep every night. I know I’ll go back to teaching someday, too. Can’t help it.

Esmé Raji Codell’s playlist for new teachers can be found at her website PlanetEsme.com. You should also check out the site for her children’s literary salon at the PlanetEsme Book Room.

Melissa A. Bartell likes strong coffee, red wine, and dark chocolate. She earns her living writing web-copy for an Internet marketing firm & dabbles in fiction on the side. She lives near Dallas, TX with her husband, two dogs, and more computers than anyone really needs. She is the Managing Editor here at All Things Girl. Find out more about her on our About Page, check out her blog at MissMeliss.com, or follow her on Twitter: @Melysse

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